A post for Reuben

Life with a child whose world revolves around a different axis than a "typical" child brings with it challenges that are hard to articulate, but at the same time makes relatively simple accomplishments major reasons for celebration.

Take last week, when Matt was busy one day laying 17 rolls of sod left over from the new house next door. Reuben had been having a rougher afternoon inside involving lots of shrieking, banging himself in the jaw, and asking for (but not really wanting) a nap. He has so very few activities that capture his interest, so I made a last-ditch effort to help him find a way to play by bringing him down to Daddy's office with some match box cars (almost every window in our house has a few match box cars lined up on the sill!) so he could watch Daddy out the window.

Not more than a few minutes later he was up in the kitchen by me telling me via his own made-up sign that he uses for "outside" that he wanted to go out. He actually sat down and put on his own shoes to get ready to go! I helped him get out the door, and as I grabbed my own shoes to help him go find Daddy, he had already gone into the garage to look for his little shovel. We walked around and found Daddy filling the wheelbarrow with compost from our compost pile to spread on top of the not-so-great soil left over from excavating around the addition.

Oh, what a happy boy! Trowel in hand, he "helped" daddy fill up that wheelbarrow, and then walked back to the opposite side of the yard to dump and spread it. Matt told me later that he worked steadily the whole time, not necessarily putting dirt where Matt wanted it, and sometimes even shoveling up what Matt had already spread, but for him to stick with a task for that duration of time, and not even one of his go-to tasks, was amazing to see.

Reuben brain thrives on cycles - simple, repeated circuits. This ended up being perfect. Fill the barrow, wheel it across the yard, dump it, spread it, repeat.

Getting to ride back to the compost pile in the wheelbarrow doesn't hurt, either!

Reuben happily worked out there with Daddy for around two hours.

Matt commented that sod on the outside is like putting in the trim on the inside of a construction project! It really makes that little area outside of his office window look finished. And to get to do this work with Reuben made for a very nice day.

I suppose it's also worth mentioning that Reuben is my only child who is not afraid to pick up worms. ;) Even Daddy doesn't really prefer to touch worms, given the choice, but Reuben isn't phased at all by it, and when he's out in the dirt, will happily pick up every one he finds.

This isn't the best photo, but if you know what you're looking for, there's the worm!

This was a few weeks ago while we were digging potatoes. He's giving that worm quite the stretch, there, but as far as we know, the worm made it.

Look what my boy can do/ Two Years Home

As we're quickly approaching two years we celebrate TODAY that it's been two years since Krassi came home, I'm doing more reflecting on how he's grown and changed.

It's funny sometimes how some of his progress seems so unnoticeable to me until someone else points it out, and then there are some things that seem like such big deals to me that may appear rather insignificant.

With that, check out what Krassi was doing a few days ago!

Can you figure out yet what he's doing that I'm so impressed with??

Check out which hand he's using to hold the cake pan insert that he loves to play with...it's his LEFT hand!

When Krassi came home, his left hand was essentially unusable - often held in a fist, and generally not an asset to him.

One of Krassi's referral photos (he was about 8 years old in this photo).

A sweet smiley one we received after we committed to adopting him (so he's about 8.5  years), but before we'd met him - but look at that left hand and arm again!

On our pick up trip...

A few weeks home...the right hand is busy working, and the left is mostly just tight.

 So, now look at him here again - he's got a good solid grip using his thumb in an appropriate way on that cylinder!! I think of the hours of time that have gone into stretching that left arm, doing reflex exercises on both hands to encourage proper grip. And that smile - I love that smile! - Krassi just eats up verbal praise. It is so easy to bring a smile to this sweet boy's face, and it's so amazing to watch how hard he will work to earn that affirmation.

 

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Looking through old photos to find a few to illustrate his old grip brought me across a few other early ones that are fresh in our minds as we celebrate this two-year milestone.

These first two were of the very first moments that we met back in March, 2013. This poor little boy was absolutely terrified.

 What a joy it was even over the course of that week to see him begin to adjust to having us around. What a difference just a few days made.

And here are a few from our pick up trip...

Krassi and Mom on the balcony of our hotel - he looks so pale and so passive in this photo.

Out on a walk stopping to eat. There's that little left-handed fist again.

Back in the hotel - what a tiny guy. I remember his thighs being no thicker than his skin and bone calves, but to see him now, he's still skinny and small and still severely underweight for his age, but there's meat on those thighs these days!

This is within days of coming home.

We took a photo of him before bed tonight, but it's still on the camera. I'll get it up within the next few days.

We're so glad this little guy's part of our family!

{here's a quick link to the update post from a year ago}

Now THAT'S devotion

If only there were more of us who were this desperate for our Bible!

(See it up there, on top of the jar just to the left of the Cheerios? It's drying after some serious repair work to the binding.)

Smart little boy got the stool all by himself, and realized he STILL wasn't tall enough, so turned around asking, "Beh, beh?" ("Help, help?")

(I have to laugh looking at a photograph of our refrigerator which is empty as high as Krassi can reach from the floor, and then crazy full above that line!)

4H

Here's another "what we're up to" post that's somewhat out of date. Last fall neighbors of ours introduced us to their local 4H club, and we decided it sounded like a good fit - relatively low impact commitment (one meeting per month), and a good reason to pursue and stick with individual interests, and to potentially explore other things we might not have reason to do otherwise.

We were also very interested in the idea of a club where many ages and thus abilities are all together in one club. Anything that's set up such that kindergarteners and high school seniors are together sounds like a good venue for someone like Krassimir to be a part of something beyond himself, beyond school or his therapy center. There aren't many opportunities for a tiny eleven year old (ten at the time), enrolled as a kindergartener, with the developmental prowess of a one year old to belong to something outside of his family or his church. We know he recognizes and enjoys familiar people, and were excited both by the chance for him to get to know other people, but also for other people to know him.

The year went quite well. Parents are usually at the club meetings, and many of the parents would make sure to stop and say hi to Krassi every month, but there were a number of the kids that did, too, as the year went on.

The culmination of the year, however, was in the month or so leading up to the county fair. Every year our club participates in the "Share the Fun" event, which is a six minute skit written and performed by the club members. Owen and Leah expressed interest, and had been busily going to twice-weekly practices to memorize the songs and dances (they did a mini version of Oklahoma!), when a few weeks before the fair, some of the older club members brainstormed a way for Krassimir to be part of the skit, too, and invited him to be part of it.

I truly do not know how much Krassi understood about any of the whole deal, but I know *I* was thrilled that they had thought about him and found a way for him to take an active role in the club's six minutes in the spotlight. Krassi got to wear a plaid farmer shirt, a straw hat (which he of course didn't wear), and ride in his wagon modified to look like a miniature covered wagon. Rose pulled him up onto the stage, and at the end, Joe and Georgia dropped the tin cans tied up in the back, flipped the "Just Married" sign, and trundled on down the ramp. Not only did Krassi receive a ribbon for participating, but the club also was awarded "Reserve Champion" (which, for those of you who, like me, know/knew nothing about 4H is essentially a second-best of show award.)

These photos of the skit aren't great because they're just screen shots from a video, but it gives you the idea...There's Krassi in the red-covered-wagon on the left just above the piano music, and Leah and Owen square dancing (pink dress/white bonnet and overalls/straw hat).

Krassi's big moment came at the end of the skit.

This year we're excited to be signing him up again, and Reuben, too. (And Owen and Leah.)

Krassimir's 4H project - hand painted note cards. (I had taken a photo of them on display, but was having issues with my camera, so had to re-take at home after the fair.)

Ha! One other fun memory from the Fair experience - as we were signing in on the day when the projects are judged and left to be displayed, not really sure what we were doing, the first thing we hear is someone saying, "Hi, Krassi!" It was one of his paras from school - not a peer, but still, how delightful to have someone know this boy, and with the four of us there, that Krassi would be the one who knew someone made me smile.

Leah designed and sewed a beautiful farm quilt. There wasn't room for them to hang it so it was all visible, but they made sure to hang it so that much of it was visible!

Leah also entered the framed drawing above her head of three birds adapted from a photograph. As a "Cloverbud" (K-2nd grade), her and Krassi's ribbons were not weighted at all - they simply received a ribbon for participating.

Owen's remote control truck with trailer and mini-car. (Again, if you don't know 4H - the projects are all judged individually, meaning they aren't judged in comparison to other projects, partly because each project can be so very different from every other project. Instead, each child is judged almost against themselves, and in their ability to dialogue intelligently with the judge about what they set out to do, how they accomplished it, and what they learned through the process. A blue ribbon is awarded to projects that show a superior level of thoroughness and understanding. Red is for an adequate job, and white essentially shows that you showed up. After each project has been given its individual ribbon, and all the kids have left, the judges discuss among themselves and in each project area select the projects that were truly outstanding compared to the others, and those are awarded an Award of Excellence, Reserve Champion, or Champion ribbon.)

Owen was awfully excited to come back to the fair on Monday and find that his "how to choose the right lawnmower" presentation board had been given Reserve Champion.

Plodding along on the house

After getting Matt's mom moved in just over a year ago, and getting the living room livable by last Christmas, all work on finishing the addition has really slowed to a crawl. But now that we're back in the school routine, and some of Matt's deadlines have eased up a bit, we're moving again (slowly) over the last few weeks.

We now have a (nearly - missing some face nails on the two end boards) finished exterior deck entrance at the door in and out of the addition near Matt's office.

This photo's from back in July. I tell you, there's nothing that warms the heart like looking out the door and seeing your husband hard at work digging a DEEP hole for the footing for the deck that's been waiting for a long time to be built!

Then, after living with just a big hold outside of that door for months, and then weeks with just the deck frame, we finally had a day in September to put on the deck boards. Love how Reuben is helping. iPad at the ready and thumb in mouth. Sometimes we just do what we have to do to keep him safely occupied while we get the work done!

Getting closer - the metal grate provides a place for people to scrape their shoes off before getting to the door.

There! Done! And doesn't it look nice, too, to have the underside of the flat roof and the few battens around the door painted? (Thanks to my mom who did that in the days before Matt and I went away for our anniversary trip.)

It's kind of funny what a destination that little bit of deck has become. Play food gets cooked out there, home school work gets done out there - it's the place to be!

 Matt and I have also gotten back into our wall-building routine from the spring - when both of the little boys are at school is a good time for him and me to get some time to work together without constant interruptions. With that, we now have the limestone walls all the way done. (Ha - as I was skimming over past posts I realized I've done a very poor job of keeping updated photos of that on the blog! I'll have to find a few to share here...)

May 2015: we decided the wall was going to be higher than we wanted, especially on the east end, so are making it two-tiered, so it's safer for kids who fall over it, as well as allowing more light to make it down into the lower level play room.

July 2015: a beautiful day to be outside - Krassi's in the wagon, Barb's out pulling weeds out of the grass, the girls are playing house, and Reuben's been in and out with matchbox cars. (Owen's most likely putting miles on his bike or soccer ball at this moment!)

That particular day ended up being the day we got all of the wall on the south side of the house completed. It wraps around to the west, but until we were able to get the entry deck in, we couldn't fully finish the wall.

We also just this week were able to go out behind the addition and finish the small bit of limestone wall we put in behind the berm created by the excavation for the addition and our vegetable garden. We had started this WAY back in the spring to get a feel for how the wall-building worked before starting on the real ones in front of the house, and now that those are done, it was time to get back to that one and get it finished up.

Real men can build limestone walls single-handed with a little pink girly in the other arm!

Hey, cutie!

By the end of the morning, Evania was helping, too, taking her little shim of rock in and out of the chinks in between the bigger rocks.

School

This won't be long, but I figured I had to get *something* up before September was over! Plenty has been going on around here - enough that once again the posts in my head way outnumber the ones that I have the time to write. But here's a little glimpse into where we're at...

School has started once again. Because we have children in both the public school system and home schooled, we tend to follow the public school's schedule as an easy way to organize our year. However, my home schooled kids started one week early to give us one week completely free from school in mid-January when we'll be occupied with other more important things. :) (And, yes, I know I'll need more than a week to get back into the normal routine of things after Baby arrives, but Owen and Leah are both self-sufficient enough with most of their school work that *they* can get back to work even if I don't!

We have been so pleased so far with the willingness our school district has to work with our desires for our family and our boys as far as home schooling goes. Although we greatly value the hands-on expertise that Krassimir and Reuben get when they're at school, we also don't want them (or our other kids) to feel that they have to go off to school while the rest of us get to all be home together. Having Daddy work from home makes this even more significant than just the home schooling is! Last year, and now this year again, both boys are in the public school setting three days a week, and home with us two days a week. On the days that they're home we spend the morning at their private therapy center (which I can't say enough good things about!) and then are all home in the afternoon.

Now that Krassimir has his wheelchair with all the appropriate tie-downs for the chair and straps/buckles for him, he can take the bus!

Our curving, rather steep, gravel driveway is going to make regular trips up and down in a wheelchair...interesting. We are mulling over a few different options to make the terrain more navigable without losing the qualities that we love about the gravel driveway. (For one, there's nothing that makes you feel like you're out of the city even when you live in a first ring suburb of a major metropolitan area, like a gravel driveway!)

Reuben's excited to go on his first day! He's sitting next to his buddy from last year - a sweet little girl who's also in his special ed classroom and both this year and last they've been in the same mainstream classroom. She was excited to see him when they pulled up to the bus stop, and they always end up sitting next to each other. I don't know her well, but she appears to be ahead of Reuben both verbally and in her fine motor skills, as we've seen in a few pictures she's drawn for Reuben over the last year.

Krassi gets to ride up the cool lift every day!

There goes my boy! He always seems happy to get on the bus...but also has big smiles for us when we pick him up at the end of the day.

One big challenge that we face this year for Krassi that was not an issue last year when he was only at school for a few hours is that of eating. After his weight gain in the spring, and our backing off slightly on how far we pushed him to eat, resulting in a slight weight loss come mid-summer, we're back to making sure every meal counts and every calorie counts. Krassi has never eaten well in settings other than home, and we weren't sure how school would go. He and I went in the week before classes started to go through a mini-meal with his teacher, OT, and one of the paras who works closely with him. For his first day we sent a typical meal for him (whatever sort of soup or casserole we've had lately, mildly pureed, and beefed up with oil and dry milk powder) as well as his pediasure/yogurt/dry milk smoothy that's his favorite around here. Our hope was that even if he wouldn't eat anything, he would at least take down his drink.

Day one? Nothing. He ate one bite of lunch and refused to drink. He'd had an applesauce cup not long before at snack time, so thinking maybe that had something to do with it, his teacher and we decided he would skip snack on his next day.

Day two? Nothing. Didn't have a snack, and wouldn't touch his lunch. Yikes! When every meal matters, it's simply not okay to be skipping entire meals!

Day three - we opted for easy-peasy, and sent him a banana mashed with applesauce - no oils, nothing to beef it up - just a simple, simple food that's our go-to when we need something to help him move down the "real" stuff here at home, with our hope being that at least he would be eating something. And...nothing. He didn't eat AGAIN!!

So then I start wondering, are we doing the right thing sending him to school? Do Matt or I need to drive over there every day and feed him? What are we going to do for this boy?

Day four - he finally ate a few bites of his lunch (a repeat of day three's easy-peasy)!

Day five - the whole banana/applesauce mix is gone, but none of the drink yet.

That's as far as we are into the school year at this point. Tomorrow we're going to go for the easy route one more time, hoping they'll also have some success with his drink, and if that's also good, we may try branching out a bit for Friday.

But I think we're moving in the right direction!

Two years ago yesterday...

...Krassimir became part of our family. Of course, it took a few more months before we could actually go bring him home, but August 2nd is the date the Bulgarian courts made it official that he was our son.

Our family two years ago.

And our family today.