Smorgasbord

A quick glance over my last few (rather sparse) blog posts reveals that it has indeed been almost a month since I've had a chance to update on how Krassi's doing! So I thought today, Thanksgiving, was an appropriate day in many ways to give you a smorgasbord of tidbits on how he's growing and settling in while my little ones nap, my big ones play with Grandma and Grandpa, and my turkey slowly roasts in the oven.

We had a perfectly lovely fall here in MN, so even in early November we were able to spend some bits of time outside.

Krassi still loves swinging. Evania is big enough now (when she's wearing a snowsuit) that she can swing, too!

 Krassimir and 'Vania continue to be the very best of friends. They are ALWAYS together, and that's only partly due to the fact that I usually sit down with her near wherever he is when she gets up from her naps. They really do seek out each other's presence no matter where they are, and they like to be close. A year ago I certainly couldn't have imagined how much these two would enrich each other's lives.

on the floor in the kitchen

'Vania will even get herself sitting on Krassi. This happens quite frequently - often enough to know it's not accidental.

The same day as the above photo (look at the clothes), but in a different room of the house. Notice that she's chewing on his socks??

And then sometimes I have whole piles of children laying around on the floor! This is what kept me company making supper one afternoon.

There those two are again, and notice how she's climbing right up on top of him?

She thinks it's pretty funny, too!

Different day, different room, but the same two buddies getting into trouble together. ;)

And when it's time to do laundry, Vania and Krassi both get to be my laundry-basket-sitters because the old basement floor is just too icky to be used for anything but feet. ;) Reuben, however, is pretty good on his feet, and is only in the basket because that was his best vantage point for seeing into the washer. (wa-duh! dow)

Krassi started occupation therapy about two months ago, and it has been SO good for him. While physical therapy was something we started with him as soon as it was possible after getting home (I think it was his second week here!), we were slow to introduce occupation therapy for a variety of reasons, and even though he's making incredible gains through the work he's doing with his two therapists, I have never once doubted our decision to wait. One reason that he's been able to make so many gains is, I believe, because we spent those months giving him the security of knowing he was loved, and I think his awareness that he has a mommy has given him the ability to branch out in many ways that he couldn't before that was firmly established.

His therapists are working with him on very basic things - posture and core strength - but also are working through a variety of different reflex exercises to help him build his awareness of his body and boost sub-conscious responses to different stimuli. (I'm very aware while typing this that Reuben's OT occasionally reads my blog and I should really have her proof this in case I'm explaining it way wrong! So Kelsey, if you read this, feel free to correct me and I'll revamp what I've written here!) ;) Some of the exercises they do seem kind of unusual, but after what I've seen them accomplish with Reuben last spring, I am eager to get on board with ones they think will benefit Krassi!

Krassi's sitting ability is greatly improved. I can now sit him up on a low bench like this and leave the room because he knows how to get down safely. When he first came home, and for a good amount of time after that, his best method for getting down was to raise his hands above his head, close his eyes and hope for the best (which didn't usually end up being what he got.) To see him learn enough about gravity to know that he will fall if he lets go (you never learn about things like that when you spend 99.5% of your life in a crib!) AND learn to maneuver his body to avoid the fall is incredible to me.

And check out these feet!!! While they look far from normal (especially if you get a 360 degree view), there is NO WAY he could have sat with both feet mostly flat on the floor when he first came home. This is more PT and braces than OT, but captures so much about his growth over the last year. Even the fact that he knows he has feet and that they can be useful to him is new for him. These feet have had their muscles, and the muscles of the legs they're attached to, stretched and worked and strengthened enough over the last year that they can do this!! I'll have to look and see what I can find of pictures of his feet before...

There. This works. Can you see the difference? This was one of the photos we were given upon requesting his file from the adoption agency when we were looking into committing to him.

Here's another sitting one - I like this one because you can see a bit of how hard he has to work to sit up - especially when he's doing it one-handed. Look particularly at his feet which are all clenched, as is his left hand white-knuckled on the edge of the lego bin.

And it's down!!! Success.

This was a beautiful surprise to me last Sunday - typically he's only sitting on the bin if I've put him there. His preference is to belly-surf on it. ;) But on this day he had chosen to get himself up into a sitting position! This is the first time we've ever seen him get to sitting on something other than the floor, or something really big like the couch. Don't you love how he smiles for the camera??

This one isn't quite as nice looking, but is a better representation of how hard he has to work to not only get himself up like this, but also to keep himself there. This boy has so much self-determination! And there's nothing like some good grunting-faces to help you work just a little harder.

One advantage of having the new basement mostly finished is that we can finally hang our swings indoors! Way back in the design stage at the suggestion of Reuben's PT, we talked with our structural engineer to make sure we had a place where the structure was sufficient to carry the loads of some more heavy duty swing equipment. Happily, the two main beams in the basement that support either side of the stair are more than adequate for the job, so now that we're ready down there, we had him size some eye bolts, and now have the beginnings of an indoor play/therapy room! This is just our outdoor swing-set swing brought in, but we've got another one on order that will let Krassi and Reuben do some of the exercises that they do at the therapy center right here at home.

[At this point my Thanksgiving Smorgasbord has now become a Day-After Left-Overs post instead, because my little ones have woken up, Grandma and Grandpa have gone home, and the turkey is roasted, eaten, and the carcass is now sitting outside of the garage in the big Minnesota Refrigerator/Freezer. Oh well. Onward!]

Other big news around here is that Krassi is being fitted for a wheelchair just his size. We've been very grateful for the long-term loan of the stroller that we use when we're out and about with Krassi, but a wheelchair will give him the ability to move himself around. Getting a wheelchair, it turns out, is a drawn-out, lengthy process. First, Matt and Krassi met with a physical therapist at Gillette at a "joint seating" appointment, meaning that a rep from a medical supply company was also at the appointment. Here they discussed all sorts of options, and together settled on which basic model of chair they thought would be the best fit for Krassi. The next step was to try out a loaner chair for a week, but the waiting list on that was so long that it took almost two months before Krassi's turn came. That was two or three weeks ago. A different rep came out with a chair and a few adjustable options and spent an hour tweaking and refining to get it as close as possible to what we thought would be a good fit.

Here's Krassi giving the loaner a trial sit.

We got to keep the chair for a week, giving Krassi as many opportunities as we could to be in the chair and work with it. Here's Daddy and Krassi testing it out that first day.

That night we made a few minor adjustments to the back - Krassi's core strength is so poor that sitting upright is really hard for him, still, and the harness they provided, although good in concept, does not give him the support that he needs. But guess what - smart little boy understands that those wheels work to move him around! He's got a long way to go to learn exactly how to move them to get where he wants to go, but we're pretty sure he'll get there. His ability to use his left hand has increased so much in the last two months, and if that continues, it will serve him well. Getting both hands to work in a coordinated fashion on the two wheels will also be important for him to learn  if he wants to predictably go in a straight line.

Big boy so proud of himself! And sitting really nice and tall in this one.

Not quite so straight here - you can see the potential problem: as he tires, he slumps forward, and then the harness, instead of supporting him, instead slowly chokes him. His face will start turning red, and the veins in his neck start bulging, and we'll remind him, "Sit up, Krassi! If you sit up straight it will feel better and you'll breathe better!" But we found we usually just removed the harness entirely. He slumps forward a lot, and has a harder time moving the chair, but it still gave him a chance to try it out and sit upright. Guess who slept really hard this week!

After our week with the trial chair, the first rep came back to talk over things with us, and now we wait for things to process through insurance. That should take another 2-3 months, and then Krassi will have a chair of his own!! We're looking forward to when he can have the increased mobility and new perspective on his surroundings that a wheelchair will offer him.

Probably my favorite part of how Krassi has grown over the last few months is in his willingness to accept my affection. We've known all the way along that we have had a much easier road with "attachment" with Krassi than many families/children have, but it's still a road to travel, and not something that happens over night. I've seen especially with me, his mommy, that he has made some significant gains this fall. One way we've noticed this is that he has been working with his therapists this fall without my presence for the whole time. We worked very hard from the beginning to have me be very present during all of his sessions, not only for the take-home benefit, but even more so he could learn that I would always be there for him, and that he would learn to love my voice and my praise over those of these other people who would be working so closely with him. It is encouraging to me that he is just fine with me NOT being there (whereas before in the earlier stages of attachment he would be unsettled if I was out of his sight for a few minutes) AND that when I do join in on his sessions, he just beams at me as he gets to hear my appreciation of what he's working on. His whole body beams when I praise him.

And then there are moments of even greater closeness that are becoming more frequent this fall. We had a mild bug run through the house, and on one of his down days let me snuggle him up, and he stayed there happily for quite a while, sometimes resting his head on my shoulder, sometimes looking around at the activity, but all the while accepting and seeming to enjoy my embrace.

Krassi with a fever snuggling with mom.

At fairly regular intervals (roughly once a week), we've had an evening when I'm reading to Owen and Leah when the younger kids are in bed, and if Krassi's still up, I'll pull him up onto my lap while I read. Somehow he seems to know that this is another notch up on the intimacy scale, and he has not yet learned to like it. My heart aches as I hear him cry while I hold him in a way that is different from any other cry. I don't really know what goes on inside his little head, but my best guess is he's mourning something that he may not be fully aware of himself. He sounds so lost and alone, and my heart breaks as I think about all of the hundreds and thousands of nights that he spent the day alone and put himself to sleep alone.

This week my parents were in town for Thanksgiving, and it's really fun to see how Krassi remembers and enjoys Grandma and Grandpa's visits. He took an especial liking to Grandpa this time around. They've always clicked, but over this visit, Grandpa couldn't sit down within sight of Krassi for more than a minute before that little guy was pulling on Grandpa's knees asking to be picked up. The last night they were here Grandpa and Krassi were "wrestling" and Krassi was laughing so hard he could hardly catch his breath! It is so special to see him not only deepening his connection to me, but at the same time broadening his affections to others who are a close part of our family. This first year home has been one of grounding for Krassimir, and I have a feeling that from that base he's going to blossom in many more ways over this next year.

**NEW and IMPROVED** Construction brief, now with 22% more photos...

My camera is full of photos of all of the little projects that Matt's been knocking off on the addition over the last two weeks. All of the projects he's been working on that wanted to get in the ground before frost are either done, or missed it ;) so his work load has been light enough to give him some good chunks of time to work on *our* stuff! So instead of little snips here and there, here's the last eight days all at once:

November 8th:

I went outside on this (not too cold) Saturday to find my husband putting up the shutters!! I've been so excited to see these go up!

Testing out the mounting height on the upper level ones. And making sure we really want them up there. This is one of the lovely give-and-takes of marriage. Although we very much designed the addition together, there are some places on the house where we went with Matt's preferences, and this is one place where he allowed me mine. ;) That big blank peak seems so naked, and a little more green helps to balance it out to my eye.

More or less finished. Also a good shot of the big dead tree that we had taken down. This one was not one for Chad to do. ;)

November 11:

Matt's gone so quickly at mudding and taping the sheet rock in the basement that I don't think I've hardly taken any photos of it. Anyway, it's done, and he primed the whole thing, then he and I painted all the main color first coat, then he got the second coat on and started painting the one spot where we're bringing in the Earthtone color we like so much.

In the back corner, lights are all in, and it's taped off for the other darker color of paint.

November 15:

And here's the other color in there, and the door is trimmed out, and there's some baseboard in! It suddenly feels like a real room down there! We need to do more sanding and varnishing before we can finish out the room, but there really aren't that many working hours left.

Then, yesterday Matt decided to tackle the transition between the old and the new. We've had the floor threshold temporarily in for three months now, but just rough studs and metal lath, etc, for the rest of it. Not pretty. Also not safe for balloons being carried by children. We've lost a few that way.

But no more of that! Look - there's Matt nailing in the side jambs, and before the afternoon was over he had the trim around both sides of the door, too. I don't have a picture of it all completed, but might stick one in here once I get one taken. If I remember.

Guess what - I remembered! Both to take the photos, and to put them up in this post. ;) And you get not one, but two. This is looking from the existing house (school/computer room) into the addition. Someday the lovely wireless wires will not be casually draped across the opening suspended from the hardware from the old roman shade from when this was a window to the outdoors.

And this is looking from the new living room through the link into the school/computer room. All of the other window and door trim in the house is wider at the top than at the sides, but because of the way the opening worked out here, we needed to make it the same on the top and sides. These are the kinds of things that most people wouldn't notice (though now you all will since I'm taking the time to point it out!) but sticks out like crazy to crazy people like us who pay attention to things like trim widths. Oh well. ;) Part of good design, I believe, is doing the best with the parameters you're given.

And then last night before (a slightly late) bedtime, Matt and I got the wood floor at the bottom of the stair installed! This runs along the bottom of the stair and turns the corner to go under where the shelf will be built in for the project area. Someday.

We're looking forward to sometime next spring, hopefully, having it all finished, and having an open house so everyone who's worked on it in some way, and anyone else who's interested, can come and see how it's turned out!

A change

Apparently a full year of getting your diaper changed as soon as it's apparent that it's dirty just doesn't get old after over nine years of having to lay in it until you get your once daily diaper change. The delighted smiles I get when I change him bring both joy (at being able to make him happy with something so simple) and sadness (at realizing how very much his most basic needs were not met for almost a decade of his life.)

The smoke alarms work...

...and no the addition did not burn down!  Today was the day that the fireplace installer came and finished up the installation of the fireplace.  We passed our chimney inspection this morning and then the installer put the log-set in place and installed the face trim and gave us the tour of how to operate it and how to clean it.  The first time you use it, they recommend burning at full flame for about 6 hours to "break it in".  So after supper tonight we fired it up and opened the windows to let the smoke out.  The installer said the first hour would be the smokiest as the paints cure and the oils and dust burn off.  About 20 minutes after starting it, it was getting a little hazy in the living room and I commented that I wondered if the smoke detectors were working.  About 5 minutes later the one in the living room went off followed immediately by the one upstairs (since they are interconnected).  Good to know they are working and fun to finally have the fireplace installed.

Reuben, our little pyro, got home just as the installer was finishing up and he went over to my sawhorse and grabbed some shims and was ready to start feeding the fire.  I think he was a little disappointed that it is a gas fireplace and not a wood fireplace.  However, this evening after supper he was out there again until he went to bed and he was pretty content to say "bon-fire" in his language [something along the lines of la-la-laie-yo-yo] and hold his stack of shims even if he could not put them into the fire.

(Note from Andrea - we're spending some time tonight moving things around in the living room so we can use more of the space by the fireplace on a daily basis now. Sawhorses are pushed to the side, or moved to the office level, which is functioning as a staging ground for things that will move into the basement after Matt paints down there. He thinks he's done with the mudding and sanding, so next larger chunk of time he gets will be spent priming! Also please note that we have not finished the fireplace wall yet - it's still just bare mudded sheet rock. Cosmetic things are a lower priority until we get the spaces livable!)

One lovely October day

This past October was a month of gratefully remembering all of the many people who gave us their time last fall to push hard to get the exterior of the addition weather-tight before Owen and I left for Bulgaria to bring Krassi home. We didn't get it quite done, but close enough that we could rest on that for the winter. And spring. And summer, and much of fall, too.

But, this past week, on a lovely October day, Matt had time to get out and finish up all sorts of loose odds and ends. (Have I ever mentioned how much I admire the way my husband can work??? Well, now I know I have!)

The results:

A finished (although rather grungy, still) underside of the roof soffit! (Please note that the orange ladder is still standing where it's been since last October, except for the day our neighbor borrowed it to fix his window, and kindly put it back right where he found it, and also that there is still no siding around the door.)

A close-up of the underside of the soffit. I love the leaf imprints. Those boards have been waiting a long time to find their home!

One last panel (the vertical one to the right of the bank of three basement windows) that's been missing for the last year is now in place.

And look! There's now rigid insulation AND the first layer of finish siding (the "board" of the board-and-batten) around that door!

It looks like just a photo of kids, but it's also a photo of Daddy working. In case you were wondering, it was totally butterfly leotard with boots, mittens, and a hat weather if I've ever seen it.

Happy Reuben got to play with water one more time. "Wa-duh! Dow!" "Yes, Reuben, the water goes down every time. That's called gravity." (And there's Daddy working...caulk going in around a few last battens, and an active outdoor electrical outlet.)

Girls. Staged, of course, since we had to ask Daddy to come over and take the picture.

A few last shingles on the fireplace bump.

And I apparently don't have photos, but Matt got the battens on the door wall, and got them caulked, and also slid in the few pieces of siding on the existing house that had to be pulled off to make the junction between the two, so we are now, for this winter, completely weather tight.

Even though the all-consuming nature of this addition is definitely over, there's still regular work going on. Tonight Matt's putting on another coat of mud on the basement sheet rock, hoping to have things ready to prime down there by the end of the week. He and I may try putting in the last bit of wood floor at the bottom of Barb's stairs now that we have the subfloor evened out there. We'll see. ;)

Regardless of what happens tonight, it's been good to continue to see things reaching "finished" stages. What an incredibly packed last year and a half its been. I doubt we'll even in our lives have another 18 month period with as many significant life changes as this past one has had. We have started and close to finished building, mostly by ourselves (read: Matt) an addition that doubles the living space in our home. We have added a 10 year old son, a newborn daughter, and a mother/mother-in-law to our household.