Tiny glimpse

I've been lax in posting lately, but wanted to take a moment to share these two cuties and brag on the older one:

Fuzzy photo, but love the smile. ;)

 Bobbi has taken to walking on Grandma's treadmill when it's hot outside. First of all, it's in the cool basement, and secondly, it's a better workout for her than walking with me behind her outside!

It wasn't that long ago that she couldn't do the treadmill at all. She couldn't keep her legs in close enough alignment, and the right/weaker one would get stuck on the non-moving edge of the treadmill, causing obvious difficulties. As she got past that, she got to the point where she could walk for 45 seconds to a minute at the slowest speed before she would need to pause and rest. She would rack up a few minutes of walking that way.

And then came the day that she did a few short runs, and then powered out 6 minutes and 38 seconds!!! Absolutely blew me away.

Since then, that determined girl has pushed herself further and further until setting another record today, walking for just over 8 minutes, 30 seconds, resting for a bit, and then getting up and going for another full 10 minutes! I still don't know how she did it. But she did. And then collapsed onto the treadmill, laying on a back pillow from the couch, as is our habit.

Gloria, upon waking from her nap, thought it looked like a cozy place to hang out, and spent a half hour crawling around over her Bobbi until it was time to come up for supper.

As American as...blueberry...pie

Or, "The [reverse] A B Cs of our week."

C is for Cherry Pie, (and Blueberry Pie).

We have Bogomila signed up with the 4-H club that some of the other kids have been part of for the last few years, and on Monday I took two of our girls and two friends to the county extension office to make pies that will be frozen, and then baked to sell at the county fair to raise money for 4-H. Kind of last minute I asked Bobbi if she wanted to come along, too, figuring she wouldn't want to because it involves going out and being with people who speak English (still very much something she doesn't enjoy), but thankfully the draw of spending the morning with Mom baking was enough to encourage her to say yes!

Everyone was paired up for the baking; Bobbi and I, Rinnah and friend Nolynn (in the pink and blue at our table), and Leah and Hope (at the table behind us just to the left of Nolynn's blue shoulder). All together, the six of us assembled eleven pies from scratch! (Minus the filling, which came in big 3 gallon buckets!)

B is for Botox.

On Wednesday Bobbi had her first Botox injections. Botox works to reduce high tone by temporarily (2-4 months) killing some of the nerve endings that are over-firing because of her cerebral palsy. The effect of the injections takes about a week to be felt, and reaches its full potential a few weeks after that. Her injections were in her hamstrings, in the hopes that she will be able to both get some better stretch out of those muscles, thus allowing her to stand straighter and taller (and also helping her feet to hit the floor at a better angle to make balance better), and also to give the counter muscles a chance to develop some of their own strength, helping to improve things for her in the long run as well. One nice thing about Botox is its temporary nature. If we like the results, we can repeat it in 3-4 months; if we don't, we can try something different next time.

Climbing out of the car (which she does 95% independently these days!) upon arrival. She brought her music as a very practical coping mechanism.

SIXTEEN pokes later (which she doesn't remember thanks to the amnesiac effect of nitrous oxide) she's all set!

Feeling *very* relaxed afterwards, and kind of excited, too, I think, about the potential benefits!

And, last, but certainly not least...

A is for American citizen!

That's right! We finally got the letter directing us to appear downtown Minneapolis at 12:06pm (so we could wait for an hour and a half in the waiting room) for Bogomila's appointment to sign some papers and swear her oath of alliegiance to the United States so she can take home her Certificate of Citizenship! Her citizenship is effective the date of her arrival in the US per the Hague Adoption Convention's statutes, but it hasn't been real until today. Now she's legal!!!

We were grateful to the Bulgarian translator who's been helping us with all of her medical appointments for coming along with us. Apparently USCIS won't provide a translator for you, but this dear lady agreed to come on her own time (she had the afternoon open, so kept it open for us), and it was nice to have her be able to translate the oath for Bogomila and to help her read through some of the other documents she had to sign.

Our translator also helped Bogomila hold up her right hand for the oath, since that arm is not as cooperative as the left!

And here she is!!! Our 100% official American daughter!

Sunday afternoon selfie

 Bogomila volunteered that she thinks our smiles look alike. I like it that she thinks that way!

But the next photo is even better, in my opinion, because look at those two girls who sure look like sisters! It's really beautiful to see how you pick up the mannerisms of the people you spend a lot of time with, so even if those two don't look alike because of their genetics, they are developing a family resemblance just by hanging around with each other!

Everything we need

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen. - Philippians 4:19-20

My dad has some great one-liners - not the funny kind, but the kind that break truth down into a super simple, easy to work with format. Here's one for you: It's only money. Though it sounds flippant, and like something that would only be tossed around by someone for whom money is no obstacle, it is not actually intended to be said in a flippant way.

Although, I suppose, it is only one to be used by someone for whom money is no obstacle.

One of many things that God has been diligent to show us over the course of many years is that for him, money is no obstacle. Matt and I have come to view money as a very fluid variable when you step back and look at the big picture. For us, being self-employed was (and still is!) a great way to get an accelerated course in this concept. There's nothing like living without a regular paycheck to help you see up close that 1) we work and 2) God provides for us. They are themes that are related, but they run on two separate (though perhaps parallel) tracks. It is not our efforts at our work that provide what our family needs. It is not our place to sit back like lazy bums and expect God to make the money magically appear while we get to do our own thing.

Our job is to do the work before us; His is to provide us with everything we need to do the work.

When we've got this straight in our heads, it provides the freedom to live as a "low-income" (by government standards) family for whom money is no obstacle.

I've been meaning to write some version of this post for months, and have been collecting in draft form a list of many of the ways that we've seen God providing what we need.

In January, leading up to leaving for our trip to bring the girls home, we received a gift of $1000 from a couple we'd met only once. Wow. They sent along a very nice letter and a few photos of their family.

The week after, we got another check for the same amount from the same family, and a short note saying, "If I do not give the full amount God told me to give, I am being disobedient."

That was closely followed by a cash gift in the same amount from local friends of ours.

Three identical, very generous gifts within a very short time span. What a signal to stop and pay attention. (God is so good to us like that! He knows that Matt and I are kind of slow in the head sometimes so he takes pains to be extremely obvious when there's something he wants us to know!) The girls' adoption has been like that all along - copious provision, a truly bountiful experience so unlike most of the adoptions that I follow (including Krassimir's adoption) where God provides, yes absolutely, but not usually much ahead of time!

So here's a sobering thought - money is not the only thing we need to do the work God has given us. Our mental and physical resources have been much more thin this time around. Since the girls came home we have been pushed and stretched to a degree that we both know is not sustainable long-term. In the months of ample provision leading up to the girls' home coming, I kept thinking in the back of my head, is God making a point with this abundance? We have learned to trust him in financial provision - is he so strongly reaffirming his abilities in that arena so we have a firm base to walk forward on in new areas of trust? As I find my body reacting to the stress of constant demands on my time and energy, I will hit points (like this morning!) where I am visibly trembling. The fight for faith now is not that God will provide the monetary resources, but that,

He knows our frame [ie, how we are formed],

he remembers that we are dust. - Psalm 103:14

and that that means he will bring the relief that we need when we need it.

~~~

The beauty of being amply supplied financially means that we are also freed to give freely ourselves. All in one week, we were able to send a gift for a mission trip, and received a check in the mail from someone else I've never met in person. We were able to give financial support toward a multi-week summer mission trip to the young lady who helped our family during the first week that I was in the hospital with Mira in January. We were able to give Adam's family a boost toward their new daughter. [Who, by the way, is home now!!! But, imagine this - he hasn't had time to blog about it yet...Think maybe they're a little busy?? As I said, I've been working on this post in some form for months, and the only reason I'm working on it again today is that I'm taking a mini spa vacation (also known as sitting in a quiet pre-op room with a heated blanket wrapped around me while I wait for Mira's post-op nurses to come and bring me to her recovery room!)]

And the cycle continues - a friend from our parents' church emailed me asking if we'd like some nice grass-fed beef? She was passing through the Cities, and had some to share. A business client asked if we could use any clothes for our girls. An answer of, "Yes," resulted in a steady stream for a few weeks of a few bins at a time of incredibly beautiful, many brand new, high quality girls clothes. Oh, what fun for Leah, Rinnah, and Evania to look through, and we were able to select our favorites to fill up the sizes of everything we'll need for years for the girls - a few years ahead of Leah's age, and some very nice things to round out all of the other sizes (because with as many little girls as we have around here, the hand me downs don't always make it through everyone!)

Pretty dress coats!

Pretty hair binders!

There were quite a few summer shirts that fit Bogomila (both in size and clothing style preference), and even a few that fit *me* of the type (basic short sleeve summer wear) that I'd been needing to get through a summer of being neither pregnant nor nursing. And if that wasn't enough, another friend from church who works at a children's clothing store caught me one Sunday and asked for a shopping list because there was an incredible clearance sale going on. Boys stuff covered that way. (Mostly pants. Pants don't get much handing down around here, and since I have two boys the same size coming after Owen, we need more than we did for just Owen!)

~~~

We've been steadily saving for the bathroom project, putting money away as we can, waiting and waiting and waiting, first of all, for Matt to have the time to even think about finishing up the drawings that we have at a solidly schematic stage, but nowhere near what we need for permits or bids. Last month someone we are close to mentioned needing a short term loan of a sizable amount of money to be able to make it to a refinance closing date. "Coincidentally" the amount needed was just about exactly what we had saved up in our savings account, plus the current flex we had in our day to day checking account. God's provision for us has freed us to ease the load for this family. We don't have a set date for repayment, but know that God knows how all of that will shake out.

He knows what we need.

The end of last week brought more - a large check from someone who had given generously during the past year bringing the girls home, and an insurance reimbursement check. It's the days that those both come in the mail on the same day that we take notice. (As I mentioned above, He is sensitive to the fact that we might be a little bit dense, so makes sure it's obvious!) God is again saying, "I've got this. You don't need to worry, because I've got the whole course worked out so that you will have what you need when you need it." So the next week when we got hit with the cost of not one, but two adoption post-placement reports, we knew we'd already been given what we needed to pay for it.

But as I mentioned above, money isn't the only part of the "everything" that he promises to supply. "Everything" means the financial, spiritual, mental, emotional, just plain old hours in the day kind of resources necessary to get the work done.

And that's the point at which some deeper theology comes into play.

One:
This is important. I am NOT an indispensable part of what God is doing in the world. I am what my family growing up would have labeled an "expendable" back in the days when we would watch episodes of the original Star Trek while eating pizza every Friday night. God's mission, God's work, His plan and purpose continues whether or not Andrea has anything to do with it. However, much different from the poor expendables who invariably got left on the alien planet, or dragged off in the alien spaceship, or died from some bizarre alien disease that Bones just couldn't figure out, I am both expendable AND a dearly beloved, precious daughter of the King of kings. I am expendable to the work, but not to the heart of the King.

This means that I am truly set free to live out Philippians 4:6 - Do not worry about anything. I am free to work heartily...[at] whatever I do...as for the Lord... (from Colossians 3:23) without worrying about not doing good enough - I just have to work at it with all my heart...and all my soul and all my mind and all my strength, but the burden of the results is not up to me.

Two:
What I think I need might be different from what I really need. I believe understanding this is critical to believing the truth that is laid out in God's word. In Philippians 4:19, Paul states confidently that God will supply all of our needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus. So if we don't have something that we think we need, we're faced with a few options: one, we can believe that God didn't really mean what he said, or two, we can believe that God had good intentions, but his riches really just aren't quite adequate for what we're facing at the moment, or three (and I'll give you a hint: this is the one we know to be true), we can choose to understand that we don't really need whatever it was we thought we needed. Matt and I try to be very careful in our family as we go through our daily life to make clear distinctions between the two - is that thing you need really something you need, or is it just something you want?

This plays itself out in a variety of ways, including some rather extreme potential scenarios. The question really comes down to not just, "What do we need?" but, "What do we need for what?" Does God promise to give us everything we need for a life that is easy and comfortable? I think that's pretty easy to rule out on many counts. First of all, generally, I don't see any evidence in the Bible that God's goal for us is a life of comfortable ease. Comfort? Yes - in the sense that Paul writes about in the first chapter of 2 Corinthians, but even in Philippians a few sentences before he shares about God meeting all of our needs, he writes about the secret of contentment in times of plenty and abundance, and times of hunger and ...need! So I think it's obvious that a life of comfortable living is not what God promises. So let's take it further. What DO we really need? Food? Air? Clothing? Sleep???

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. (Matthew 6:31-32)

He knows that we need them...to stay healthy, to stay alive. But I often step back and have to ask, is staying alive really the be all and end all of why we exist? I would have to argue that no, it is not. Is life valuable? Yes, yes, emphatically yes. Is it to be valued over everything else and at all expenses? NO.
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

I think it's valuable to look back at where this post started if we're going to correctly answer the question of "What do we need for what?"

 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen. - Philippians 4:19-20 

See that second half? That is the answer to the "for what?" question. He has promised to give us everything we need to bring him glory, and if we're going to do that through life, we'll have everything we need to keep this body alive. If we're going to do that through death, we'll have everything we need to ensure that happens, too. 

He will give us everything we need!

So on to...

Three: 
Being confident in him supplying everything I need means I need to be absolutely confident that God is completely in control of everything. My dad's not the only one to coin the phrases we hear from him. Here's one that came from a man from his church: If it happens, its okay. I love this one because on the surface, it, too, sounds incredibly flippant, but in reality, it's anything but that. It originates from an absolute conviction that God is who he says he is (...him who works all things according to the counsel of his will...Eph 1:11) - the one who is absolutely in control of everything that happens, and knowing that, coupled with what he promises in Romans, (about working all things out for the good of those who love him), is intensely powerful and intensely freeing, and is a belief that can take both the smallest and the biggest challenges and victories of life (and everything in between) and equips us to turn them back to praise to him. And it has a useful inverse as well: if it doesn't happen, that's okay, too. Because God's got it all working out the way he wants it to, and I know that way is for my good and for his glory, no matter how hard it is.

That's what we are continually reminding ourselves. The time that I take to write some of these posts is as much a matter of me needing to put it all together in front of me in one place as it is for anything else. There are so many things we think we need. The bathroom and ramp, for one! A little bit more sleep! Or maybe a week to just get this house organized. We *think* we need these things now. But we don't need it now. When, and if, we need it, we will have it. And if we get it, it might not even then be because we need it, but it might simply be the overflow of being the beloved child of the King who is not bound to give us luxuries in this life, but is entirely able to choose to do so when he so pleases, and to give us a chance to learn the secret of being content in all circumstances.

Como Town!

We are members of an organization, Hope Kids, that provides a regular stream of free activities for kids with life-threatening medical conditions and their families. We have loved being a part of Hope Kids because having these opportunities available to us free of charge (and already with a date set on the calendar) means we have that much more incentive to just go for it. We've gone to live theater, a private movie showing, trampoline park evenings, and a number of other things, but usually it's just *some* of us who go because our family is, well, complicated to get out. (Besides the fact that it now takes two vehicles to get all of us anywhere!)

But, when there were free unlimited ride wristbands for Como Town (a small amusement park adjacent to the free Como Zoo) the day before Reuben's birthday, we decided we'd go for it.

So we did.

 (On the left, a photo from my phone looking back at Daddy, Mira, Rinnah, and Grandma, and on the right, a photo from Matt's phone looking forward at Owen, Bobbi, Mom, Krassi, Reuben, Leah, Gloria, and Evania.)

And, a good time was (mostly) had by all.

We went on the swings (starting from just right of center are Leah and Rinnah, Bobbi and Owen, and Mom and Reuben)

Owen got Leah, Bobbi, and Dad to join him on the roller coaster. Bobbi's response? "Never again!" But she DID want her photo taken in front of it as a reminder that she really did go on it!

Then onto the cars. This was the one and only ride Evania tried. She was petrified. The cars did, after all, go slowly and around the track. But she survived.

Reuben, however, LOVED it, and the lines were short enough that he got to go around again without having to get out. He's not going to make a good driver, though, since he couldn't keep his eyes on the road - he was flipping through the pages of his trusty Bible the whole time.

Trotting pony carts for Leah, Rinnah, and Reuben.

At "mini driving school" Rinnah and Owen got to scoot around the tracks on their own.

Owen in the bumper cars!

 And there was a splash park!! Which, also, by the way, requires points to get into, but with unlimited wrist bands, we were good to go. Krassi and Reuben are our biggest fans of splash parks, but the other kids (even Gloria, and Evania to a lesser degree!) also had a good time. We're still undecided if Bogomila was really enjoying having Owen get her SOAKED or not...hard to read the seriousness of the protest through the huge grins...Anyway, it was hot enough that it felt good for all of us to get a little wet!

 

We left Como Town for a brief trip through the zoo. The giraffes were really neat. 

Daddy took this photo intentionally to give Bobbi "giraffe ears."

 And then it was time for our picnic supper. It was nice to sit down for a while, and everyone was doing well enough that when I asked Owen if he wanted to join me on the two-seater zip line and he decided he wasn't quite up to it, Matt and I made the spur of the moment decision to go together! "Owen - you're on Reuben. Leah - you've got everyone else. We'll be back soon!" (LOVED the short lines!)

 Well, once the two of us had gone without any malfunctions, everyone else wanted to go, too...with Mom. So I went with Owen, then Leah, then Reuben, then Bobbi, and finally Rinnah. (We debated on Krassi - he's getting SO much better at holding his core and sitting upright...but by then the line was longer and it was getting close to closing time. Maybe next year...)

Up and into the seat!

Squeezing mom's hand tight!!!

 And we ended the evening in the tea cups. Not the most exciting end to a day of rides, but kind of a nice classic way to end a day at an amusement park. These days are a lot of work, but hopefully give all of us something fun to remember doing together.

Play date

Reuben had a "first" today* of a sort that I had been prepared to never have with him.

He had a play date with a friend from school.

Yes, I know that doesn't seem like that big of a deal for an eight year old, but for a mostly non-verbal, significantly delayed child who sucks his thumb and has no qualms about things like filling his diaper in a room full of people (and is completely oblivious to the fact that this is socially inappropriate!), who loves people, but has a very unique way of interfacing with his world, it's a really big deal.

Reuben spends most of his time in the public school in the special-ed classroom, but joins his mainstream class for morning meeting and a few other regular "specials" throughout the day. This year, as has happened in years before, Reuben is well received by the other children in his class, but midway through this year an email from his teacher also mentioned that there was one little boy in particular, Graeme, who had really connected with Reuben.

We got to see this in real life towards the end of the school year when Reuben's class had a special day for parents to come for "Poetry and Popsicles." Thinking (accurately), that the whole deal might be a little too overwhelming for Reuben, his teacher suggested our family come to watch the dress rehearsal that morning. It brought me to tears to see all of his classmates willing to help him out, but this young man was ready not only to gently guide Reuben, but also just really seemed to enjoy Reuben's company. He was the one who, when Reuben was too nervous to go stand at the front of the class when it was his turn, jumped up to the microphone himself and called, "Come on Reuben! You can do it. Come up here with me." And though I had to carry Reuben up there, once he was standing by Graeme, it was enough for him to be able to do his thing.

When I got the email from Graeme's mom a few weeks ago saying Graeme was hoping to get togther with Reuben, I have to admit I was pretty nervous! I wasn't sure how much Graeme had explained to his mom about Reuben...or even what Graeme's impressions of Reuben were!

I also know that Reuben can be rather unpredictable. (What if the day we ended up getting together was one of his bad seizure days? Or one of the days when his behavioral challenges flare up? We try to keep him home from school on those days, so that would be a side of him that Graeme had not seen...) But I also know that Reuben's people are so very important to him, so decided it was worth a try.

So, with a mix of trepidation and excitement (on my part, not hers!), we set up a date close to both of their birthdays for the boys to play for a while, and his mom offered to bring two individual size birthday cakes, knowing that Reuben loves to blow out candles.

The afternoon was a blast! The boys played with Reuben's marble run for a very long time, then transitioned to cake.

Reuben was almost shell-shocked with the delight of candles! and singing! and balloons! And in true Reuben fashion, the candles and singing were as important or more than eating the cake. So, while the rest of us ate cake, Reuben continued adding candles, and we ended up singing to the boys a few more times.

Reuben's cake on the left (chocolate with strawberry filling), and Graeme's on the right (vanilla with mango)

The boys played a while longer until it became obvious that Reuben was losing his rhythm and needed some down time, but Graeme and his mom left with tentative plans to try for another date in August.

It fills my heart with joy to know there are young people like Graeme in Reuben's life. We love him dearly, and can see past the awkwardness of his differences to the precious things about his character that make him the lovable person that he is, and he has many adults in his life, too, who know first-hand what a delightful person Reuben is, but to see an elementary kid - one of Reuben's age mates who gets it - who can see the person through the outward appearances, is a pretty cool thing.

*"Today" ended up being five days later than today, because that's how long it takes to get the post done!

Extended family

My cousin lives a few hours away from us with his wife and two children, and they almost always stop through here to park their car whenever they need to go to the airport.

As much as Bogomila doesn't like meeting new people, people who are "family" are a little easier for her, and turns out she's quite a baby lover!

Here are my new oldest daughter and my cousins newborn son meeting each other for the first time.

 A year ago this girl was all alone in the world, and here she is now surrounded by immediate family, extended family, even more extended family. I love that adoption doesn't just give a child a mother and father, but brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, nieces, nephews...and adorable baby second-cousins!

In and out

Mira's just wrapping up after a quick and easy surgery this morning. She went under anesthesia to have her ears cleaned and assessed for ear tubes, (yes, they put in ear tubes) and then a quick CT scan of her head to get a better look at those cholesteatomas.

She is doing so well. She's also *still* growing, even with taking her calories per day down a little bit after her last visit with the nutritionist. Our last weight on her was 36 pounds. She's now 38.5 pounds, meaning she's had just over a 50% increase since coming home at 25 pounds.

The tube insertion was very straightforward on the left, and a little more interesting on the right. Tubes go into the ear drum, a flat membrane separating the ear canal from the air cavity on the other side. The doctor who did the surgery said the left needed a lot of cleaning, but the ear drum looked good and the insertion of the tube was easy. On the right, he said that instead of the pocket of air, it was more like hitting concrete. (His words.) The first incision he made for the tube had no chance of working, so he had to find a place where there was just enough of an air space behind that he could make a second incision and sneak the tube in there.

She was given a different kind of tubes than the type you put into a 10 month old who's had one too many ear infections. Those are made to come out pretty easily; these are intended to stick around for the long haul. The danger with these is a higher chance of perforating the ear drum, but in Mira's case, the benefits of a slightly bigger tube, so better movement between for fluid to get out and any necessary medication to get in far outweigh the risks...particularly since her hearing may be gone already.

She's been well cared for, and we'll hopefully be heading home within the hour.

~~~

Oh! And as an added bonus, I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask, and sure enough - someone from adaptive technology was able to come down to the pre-op room, grab Mira's wheelchair, and bring it back a few hours later with a lengthened (by 4 inches!!) velcro safety belt so we can fasten it again! It's only been three weeks since she got her chair, but it's been long enough that we couldn't get it around her anymore because of how she's growing. Thankfully Rob also planned growth into the custom formed back support when he made it, so we can get some more room in the whole thing when we need that, too!

Old strap in my hand, new one in the chair.