What seizures?

You know what the very scariest part about Mira's diagnosis was for us when we first thought we were hearing God directing us toward pursuing adopting her as our daughter?

Epilepsy.

Yes, we had experience with epilepsy with Reuben, and that was enough to know that the thought of having two children with uncontrolled seizure disorders was more than a little daunting. Even before the girls came home, we had a busy household - six children with one on the way, and of those, two (Reuben and Krassi) with various significant medical needs. We were already caring for Matt's diabetic mother, helping her manage her medications four times a day, and we always said that having the variety of different needs made it manageable. Grandma's meds were regular, Reuben's seizures were high-need when they happened, but in between posed no extras. Little people needed all sorts of diapers, but none of those were (usually!) immediate crisis situations.

But the thought of TWO children with epilepsy? That was scary. Could we handle it?

Tonight as I was filling Mira's meds for the next 24 hours, I was reflecting on her seizures. Wait a minute - what seizures??? In all the time that she's been with us, she has not had a single seizure. Not a single one. When we picked her up from her orphanage she was on two pretty heavy seizure meds. One of them we eliminated that week in Bulgaria because one of its side effects was hyponatremia (low sodium levels), which in itself can cause seizures even in people without epilepsy. When we got to the States and she was hospitalized, they added in a new second anti-seizure medication - one with very minimal side effects (keppra). Over the course of time, we weaned her off the other one she'd been on in Bulgaria (coincidentally one of the ones that Reuben takes), and having STILL seen no seizures after a year, we began four months ago weaning her off the remaining drug. She currently takes only 1 ml twice a day.

To anyone reading who may be considering adoption, what are you afraid of? Seizures? Scary medical diagnoses?? Do not be afraid. Much of what you are afraid of is going to end up being non-issues. Much of the challenge of raising and loving the child that will become your own may come from things that you never even imagined (and if you had, might have even been scarier than the things you knew about!) Be prepared for the expected, for the unexpected, but mostly, be prepared by building up your dependence on the one who says,

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

 Because seizures are scary.

And so very worth it. This boy is so incredibly precious to us. Without any hesitation, I would take a life with him and his seizures than the other way around.

Even without seizures, Mira's got plenty of other challenges, but I am every day grateful that we didn't let our fear of seizures keep us from making her ours. Here's Eben demonstrating once again that touching her does not cause seizures!

If you think God is telling you to do something that's scary, there's really only one thing to be concerned about: know that it is His voice that you are hearing, and then DO IT!! He has never promised an easy road (in fact, quite the opposite), but he has promised to be with us, that he will never leave us, and in that case, the only really foolish thing to do is refuse to believe him, and let my fear trump his promises.