What is the greatest need?

Leah, Bobbi, Rinnah, and I (oh, and Eben, too!) got to go to Joyful Noise, a local Christian music festival. We only had tickets for one of the two days, but that was plenty. Bobbi got in free as a "graduating senior" and Eben did, too. (Well, got in free, that is. NOT as a graduating senior!) We got another free ticket through Hope Kids, and that made the day as a whole a relatively cost-effective "girls' day out" excursion.

Bobbi has noticed that being in a wheelchair makes you stick out, and as a result, we sometimes get to meet a variety of new people at events like this!

In particular, Bobbi had two different people ask to pray for her over the course of the day. Their dramatically different perspectives got me thinking. But first, I think, I want to share this from Mark 2:1-12.

And when [Jesus] returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home.  And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them.  And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men.  And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.  And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts,  “Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”  And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, “Why do you question these things in your hearts?  Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’?  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic—  “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.”  And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

Here's what always gets me about this encounter: Jesus looks at that man and sees that this man has a big problem - and it's one that he can fix. What is the problem he sees?? Well, this man has sin in his life that, left unforgiven, is going to have seriously negative and long lasting (eternal!) consequences! And there's not a single thing that poor man, or anyone else, for that matter, can do about it! Jesus looks at that man lying before him, does a triage of the situation, and heads straight for the main deal. Son, your sins are forgiven.

Now right off hand, I'm guessing that isn't what his friends were thinking about when they brought their friend to Jesus for help. We know it wasn't what those standing around were anticipating, either. But it IS what Jesus saw as this man's greatest need, and the one that he addressed first. The healing of his paralysis? That wasn't so much for the man himself (though he certainly was glad for it, I would guess!) as it was for those standing around watching. Jesus tells us that the reason that man was healed physically was so that we may know that Jesus really does have the authority to take care of our real problem.

So, then, let's circle back to our day at the concert. We chatted with a variety of people over the course of the day. Two of those encounters involved someone asking if they could pray for Bobbi. What happened in each of those encounters provided a striking contrast, and, I think, one that could inform the way we pray for the people around us.

The first went like this: With the motley crew of concert goers in our little party...

Newboys United cardboard cutouts!

...a graduating senior, a fledgling almost-teenager, a solid elementary schooler, and an under-one. Oh yes, and a 40-year-old mother, too, so we had a variety of different concert-enjoying preferences. We started out the day up in the bleachers, but as the day moved on and the concerts became more engaging to our older two, moving closer in to the action was an engaging option. We used the 30-40 minutes between concert when people were moving around to get Bobbi a spot RIGHT up next to the fence in the "standing only" section, and that's where she stayed for the rest of the night! Rinnah, Eben, and I went back up to the bleachers, and Leah alternated back and forth. Between sets we'd all congregate together by Bobbi, and that's where we had our first conversation.

A man, maybe in his early 50s, meandered over, introduced himself, and we started chatting a bit. He was there with his family, and enjoying the down time to meet new people. He'd recently quit his job to go back to school to become a pastor. A few minutes in, he asked Bobbi if he could pray for her specifically, and for us as her family in general. And I loved this: so simple, but he asked her what he could pray for. Her answer? Right on - she was nervous about starting her new job (nine days until her first day) - her first job ever!! She asked him to pray about her tendency toward anger, and a few other things. We prayed together, chatted a few minutes, and then he rejoined his wife and daughter as we got settled in to prepare for the next concert.

The second encounter happened as we were making our way out to the van after the concert. Eben finally fell asleep about an hour into the Newboys' concert and was completely, totally zonked out in the baby carrier. Rinnah and I found Bobbi and Leah, and began the arduous task of pushing the wheelchair across the astroturf. If you've never tried this, you don't know what you're missing! We were joined by another family, and the dad muscled her across the field for me. Right after we made it onto the dirt and started getting close to the gate, we were approached by another person. This man came to me, asked if he could pray for Bobbi, and I gestured her way - she can answer for herself! Without any more conversation, he asked her why she was in the wheelchair, she answered "cerebral palsy" and he begins praying that her cerebral palsy would go away. She gave me a patient, slightly amused smile (how that girl has matured!), then he gave her a pat on the shoulder and he was gone into the crowd.

I can't help but think of these two well-meaning men in the context of the Man, Jesus. What is Bobbi's greatest need? Where does SHE know that she needs the most help? She knows: it's not her legs. Yes, it would be great to be able to walk, and to use her arms, but when someone took the time to ask her, she knows that her greatest need is not outward, but inward.

So I write this as a reminder to me, and also to anyone listening: let us not presume to know more than we do. Let us not get so distracted by the outward appearance of things that we miss the true heart of the matter. Let's not forget that we serve a God who does heal the sick and the broken in spirit and in body, but let us also remember that when he was here on this earth, he did not leave the whole region of Galilee free of all disease, blindness, lameness, you-name-your-disability, but he did leave the whole region and the whole world both then and now with a way out of the biggest problem any one of us faces, and that, I hope, ought to help us appropriately triage the situations that face us every day. Don't neglect the small problems, but don't confuse them with the Big one.

Oh, and I should mention, too, that one of the perks of being right up front is you can share your bag of kettle corn with Matthew West!

Human touch

Apparently even Eben knows that there's no substitute for a little bit of human contact!

You're welcome, Mira!

Bobbi's "baby"

So, I'd been wondering lately if it was time to modify the title of the blog, but then just this week realized that it's still plenty appropriate. First of all, we're still building that new bath"room." (Believe it or not - because I'm still not sure I believe it! - Matt got the last few spots that needed a last layer of sheetrock mud completed last week, then he sanded those few spots, and this evening he and I got to 1) work together (yay!) at 2) painting the walls and ceiling with primer!!! That whole thing deserves a post in itself, but it's not likely going to happen. There has been SO MUCH going on to fill the available hours in each day, which is why having a coat of paint seems like such a miracle.)

And secondly, we've just added one more to our household!

Meet Tsvetani Brianna Potter*! We had told Bobbi that she would be able to pick out a cat when one of ours died (city ordinance allows three cats at any given time, so we needed to lose one before we could get one.) Last summer Bridget, the cat I got a year before Matt and I were married, died after nineteen good years, and we'd been waiting since then for the right time to get a new one. Obviously, much of the fall was Not. A. Good. Time. But a little over a week ago we met new neighbors who just happened to be fostering kittens, and one of them turned out to be just right for Bobbi.

Bobbi's sisters are pretty excited about a new kitten, too!

One of the neatest things so far has been hearing Bobbi talk about adoption in a whole new light. I have always personally disliked using the same term for adding a child to a family and getting a new pet, but there are so many parallels. Just like becoming a parent broadens one's understanding of God's love for his children, I think "adopting" a cat has in just a few short days opened Bobbi's eyes to some things about our adoption of her that she has not been able to really understand up to this point. She talks regularly every day about how much she loves her kitten, and I've pointed out to her that it has nothing to do with DNA! She may not be genetically related to me and Matt and her siblings, but we're at least the same species!!! I think it's been difficult at times for Bobbi to have come into a family with both adopted and biological children, and to every day see the faces of those who do look like us and know that she doesn't, and God is using this tiny kitten to fight against the lies that "adopted" means "second rate."

This kitten is surely not second rate in Bobbi's book!

*'Tsvetani' (Цветани) is in honor of someone special from Bobbi's years in Bulgaria. 'Brianna' is Bobbi's middle name, in keeping with Bulgarian naming practices of having your mother or father's name as your middle name. 'Potter' is because Tsvetani has a little spot of white fur on her forehead, just like the scar that Harry Potter has.

Fifteen years

Happy Golden Birthday, Krassimir! Fifteen years old on June 15th!!!

While I didn't take any photos on the actual day, I was outside with him this afternoon with my camera with me.

Just look at him!!! I'm so proud of that boy!! Bit of back story: Krassi really loves to spend time outside. It's been great having Rose here to spend hours out there with him and Reuben every afternoon. Today we were flitting around with all sorts of little projects and back and forth (we met "new" neighbors behind us who moved in last fall...and they're fostering kittens! and I have some girls who are pretty into that...more on that on another day!) and on one of my passes through the house where Krassi was playing, he was asking in his own cryptic way to go outside. So I thought, why not? I had to run back to the neighbors' to check on the girls and Daddy was down on the hillside cutting down dead trees with Reuben, but Krassi's got both an independent spirit AND little ability to move far or fast enough to get himself in trouble that I found him a nice grassy place where I had to walk on my back and forth through the back yard which is also the place where Daddy and Reuben were dumping their loads of brush and logs, and I plopped him down. Gave him two cardboard boxes waiting to be flattened for the recycling and he was one happy boy.

You know what I love most about this photo, though?

HE CLIMBED UP THERE ONTO THAT BENCH ALL BY HIMSELF!!!

One walk through the yard and he was on the grass. The next time, up on the bench. He'd spent some time sitting there while we had a bonfire a few weeks ago, and apparently decided he like it. I love his initiative! It's hard work for him:

(This is what it looks like to adjust position - an incredible effort!) But the sense of satisfaction and accomplishment is so totally there. "Oh yeah. I can do this all by myself!"

So we chatted a bit, and I grabbed his boxes for him because they were just out of his reach, and he was good to go again as I continued on my way.

Yep. I'm fifteen years old, and life is good!

So, this happened!!

One down, nine to go! Our first child to graduate from high school!! Bobbi's road has looked different from the "normal" in many ways, but we're so proud of how she's plugged through and made the best of a jumbled up last three years of education. She moved in the middle of one school year, spent the second half of the year learning a new language, did the first half of her junior year at home, second half part-time at the high school, then took two rounds of summer courses before her senior year which she started as a full time public school student...and then had surgery a month in, so finished the rest of the first half of her senior year with in-home teacher visits twice a week while she was recovering at home and daily half hour sessions while she was inpatient for that month before Christmas. The second half of her senior year was all the way through at the high school (minus a whole range of therapy appointments), and so ends one wild ride of a high school education!

Next year (and for one or two more years after that) Bobbi will be attending a transitional program through the district that helps roughly 25 students build life skills (laundry, cooking, bank account management), explore careers both internally and through college courses and work opportunities, and is designed to meet each student where they're at and help them work toward their individual goals. We're excited for this next step for her.

Thanks to my friend and her daughter who joined us at the ceremony, and took some great photos!!

What seizures?

You know what the very scariest part about Mira's diagnosis was for us when we first thought we were hearing God directing us toward pursuing adopting her as our daughter?

Epilepsy.

Yes, we had experience with epilepsy with Reuben, and that was enough to know that the thought of having two children with uncontrolled seizure disorders was more than a little daunting. Even before the girls came home, we had a busy household - six children with one on the way, and of those, two (Reuben and Krassi) with various significant medical needs. We were already caring for Matt's diabetic mother, helping her manage her medications four times a day, and we always said that having the variety of different needs made it manageable. Grandma's meds were regular, Reuben's seizures were high-need when they happened, but in between posed no extras. Little people needed all sorts of diapers, but none of those were (usually!) immediate crisis situations.

But the thought of TWO children with epilepsy? That was scary. Could we handle it?

Tonight as I was filling Mira's meds for the next 24 hours, I was reflecting on her seizures. Wait a minute - what seizures??? In all the time that she's been with us, she has not had a single seizure. Not a single one. When we picked her up from her orphanage she was on two pretty heavy seizure meds. One of them we eliminated that week in Bulgaria because one of its side effects was hyponatremia (low sodium levels), which in itself can cause seizures even in people without epilepsy. When we got to the States and she was hospitalized, they added in a new second anti-seizure medication - one with very minimal side effects (keppra). Over the course of time, we weaned her off the other one she'd been on in Bulgaria (coincidentally one of the ones that Reuben takes), and having STILL seen no seizures after a year, we began four months ago weaning her off the remaining drug. She currently takes only 1 ml twice a day.

To anyone reading who may be considering adoption, what are you afraid of? Seizures? Scary medical diagnoses?? Do not be afraid. Much of what you are afraid of is going to end up being non-issues. Much of the challenge of raising and loving the child that will become your own may come from things that you never even imagined (and if you had, might have even been scarier than the things you knew about!) Be prepared for the expected, for the unexpected, but mostly, be prepared by building up your dependence on the one who says,

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

 Because seizures are scary.

And so very worth it. This boy is so incredibly precious to us. Without any hesitation, I would take a life with him and his seizures than the other way around.

Even without seizures, Mira's got plenty of other challenges, but I am every day grateful that we didn't let our fear of seizures keep us from making her ours. Here's Eben demonstrating once again that touching her does not cause seizures!

If you think God is telling you to do something that's scary, there's really only one thing to be concerned about: know that it is His voice that you are hearing, and then DO IT!! He has never promised an easy road (in fact, quite the opposite), but he has promised to be with us, that he will never leave us, and in that case, the only really foolish thing to do is refuse to believe him, and let my fear trump his promises.

Wrapping up eighth grade

Krassimir has really blossomed in his eighth grade class this year. We received this photo from school last week, and it captures so much of what we've been proud to see in him!

Look how strongly he's sitting up! Look at that eye contact! And it still just thrills me to see that smile. Take that, Medical Report Writer! Does the kid you see above seem like the same child who was described to us in this way?

A child, with considerable retardation of the neuropsychic development – does not speak, does not focus his sight for long, does not reach for toys, rarely smiles. [copied directly from his medical certificate that we received with his initial file]

Considerable developmental disability? Well, yes. Any fourteen year old who has to be reminded to not lick the floor has some obvious challenges. Rarely smiles? Hardly. Does not reach for toys? Any idea why that blue cushion is in the photo...and why that hand nearest to it is blurry?? Does not focus his sight for long? Well, long enough to give that cocky smirk to the camera!! Krassi is known for that beaming grin!

We are so grateful that we get to have this guy belong to us.