Being naughty/getting comfortable

I mentioned a few posts ago about how Krassi is demonstrating in a number of ways that he's becoming more comfortable in his family. One very noticeable thing is that after a good solid week of him showing deep distress once a day - loud, unconsolable crying of a very intense kind, sometimes lasting to some degree for up to 45 minutes - we seem to have moved past that. He will sometimes whimper a bit, but I come quickly when he does (not that it always helps, but I figure it's good for him to learn that when he cries, something happens!) and it doesn't develop into much more or last very long. The other big kids (Owen and Leah) know, too, that if he is fussing, they need to either call me or (and) respond in some way on their own as they are learning to be partners with me and Matt in teaching Krassi that here, when you cry, it matters.

His eating habits, too, also show me that he's already gained a comfort level here. Granted, for the last year and a bit more he was much better fed at his orphanage that he had been for the first eight years of his life, but he's gone from eating whatever we feed him for a good solid 45 minutes four times a day to being just fine with three meals (if I give him a snack in the afternoon, he doesn't eat supper anymore, so we decided we could drop the snack!) and he's gotten picky!! At least once a day as we're moving through a meal and finish one thing and move to the next, he will take one bite, and then put up his hand to push the spoon away - his sign that he's all done. It seems very coincidental to me that he just "happens" to be filled up one bite into a new food. Rather, it's much more likely that he doesn't like what I'm choosing to feed him next, and has decided that food is a dependable enough thing around here that if he doesn't like something he's not going to bother eating it! I've tested this out by after getting two refusals with one thing switching to something I know he likes, like applesauce, and will often get another bowl full of food into him! I'm onto you, boy! ;) We'll often do an alternating method at this point: one bite of the thing he doesn't like as much, and then two of the one he does.

And lastly, this little, very delayed child knows how to be naughty. ;) On purpose. We have very few rules for him. 1) Krassi does not take off his own buckles/straps/whatever-is-securing-him-into-whatever-he's-in. Mommy or Daddy will choose when to do that. 2) We do not lick the floor. 3) We do not bite people. Other than that, his environment is such that he can do and explore pretty much what he wants. A few days ago he and I and a few of the other kids were down on the floor (I live on the floor), and he looked over at me, caught my eye, giggled, and licked the floor. Oh, he thought that was a fun game! When he crosses one of these three boundaries, I will give a light touch/tap to the offending part (mouth or hand, as appropriate), and a stern, but not angry, "no." He thinks this is hilarious. I'm pretty confident that he understands that these things are not acceptable, and there is a certain level of delight as I watch this boy knowing that he can cross the boundaries and he will still be okay and still be loved. Of course, there's still the work of helping him to learn to choose to submit himself to this part of what it is to be loved by a mommy and daddy, but in the meantime I'm going to choose to be grateful that he is comfortable enough with his place in the family that he's willing to push the limits.

Two things that I love about this boy are his intense curiosity and his frequent carefree laugh. I think one reason he's not packing on the weight like he did for the first three weeks is that he is SO BUSY!! He is scooting all over the main floor of the house these days, pulling himself along by his arms, and I'm certain is burning quite a few more calories than he did during his years confined to his crib! Even with the new director at his orphanage, I don't know how much of his time "out" was in a place where he could really get out and explore and how much of it was out of bed, but strapped into a stroller. (And, I must say, that's still significantly more inspiring than laying in a crib all day, but still...) And he laughs so freely at so many things - when he finds something new to bang around that interests him, when I tickle his belly or sing his song, when we come into his room in the morning to get him up for the day, when his brothers or sisters step over him and just miss (or sometimes don't) stepping on him - he loves it! And when he sees Grandma (Matt's mom who will be moving in as soon as the addition is move-in ready), he goes all out - smiles, wiggles, gleeful laughter - he loves her! We are so excited that she's going to be able to be with us instead of a nursing facility of some sort. I guarantee she won't get that kind of reception from anyone on staff there, wherever "there" might be, and doesn't it feel good to be loved? Just ask Krassi - I think he's catching on. ;)