We were so sad to hear that a few days ago little seven-year-old Adam, who Matt and I have met in person, died even after access to state-of-the-art medical care was not able to do enough to remedy the effects of neglect and years of untreated hydrocephalus.
He had been home with his mommy and daddy and brother and sisters for just a few weeks longer than Krassi has been home - less than a year.
Tiny little Adam was wearing size 9 month clothing when we met him last March (2013) when we were meeting Krassi for the first time during the same week that Adam's mom and grandpa were spending their first visit with him. We all played together in the ball structure just a few feet away from each other every morning and afternoon. He was weeks away from his sixth birthday at that time, and had just had his first shunt surgery a few months prior. It was easy to see how much his mama and his "Poppy" (grandpa) delighted in him, and he seemed to really enjoy their company, too. I've been in touch with his family since he's come home, and he was growing so much and accomplishing so much (and loved on SO much!) before the trauma to his brain caught up with him.
And yet, in so many ways, his story sums up for me what adoption is about - his parents spent thousands and thousands of dollars to bring him home, and then to pay for his medical care, have invested countless hours both before and after he was home, not to mention the emotional investment, and now, less than a year later, he's gone. And for what? Was it worth it?
But what a difference. That little boy did not just die in his crib in the middle of the night and life moved on the next day. Oh my, no. That little boy lived the rest of his life surrounded by people who loved him! And it thrills me that it was someone's SON who died because that means he will not be forgotten. He belonged to someone.
And he was worth it - worth the cost, worth the pain, worth pouring love into with nothing but memories in return.
Just like God has done for us - helpless, worthless without him to give us worth.
But my heart still aches for them as they mourn the loss of their little boy.
Oh, how very sad!
ReplyDeleteI know the question "Was it worth it?" is rhetorical, but I thought two things. First, in a post near the beginning of the blog, you said something along the lines of "If Leah was sitting in an orphanage somewhere, would we stop at anything to bring her home?" No one would've asked "Was it worth it?" if it cost you time, money, and tears to bring her home, and then, say, she was hit by a car. Because OF COURSE it would've been worth it.
Or what about people who spend an equivalent amount of money on treatment for infertility, only to lose their child soon after birth (or even before)? Would we ask them was it "worth it?"
When it's your child, of course it's worth it. No matter for how little time you have them.