Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Not afraid any more

I've written about fear before, I believe. Well, this post is about a different kind of fear.

The fear...




....of....





....installing hard wood floors!!! [insert scary music here]

Not too bad, huh? We're using a pre-finished floor, so all that's required is nailing it in, and cutting to size when necessary. But still, this is something neither Matt nor I have ever done before, and for some reason I had the idea that this was going to be a very time-consuming, finicky sort of project.

Turns out it's not.

Dan (our framer's assistant last summer) finally had time to stop by this morning and give Matt a few pointers. He was only here for half an hour or so, but enough to give Matt a few hints and tricks to make things run smoothly, work out a detail with the stair stringer, and help him strategize a starting location. This afternoon Matt got a great start on it (about 1/3 of what you see there) and then after everyone was in bed I went out with him and helped by laying out pieces for him and cutting at the ends of the rows so all he had to do was use the nailer, and we ended up with half of the larger room done! Lots of fun to do, and not nearly as hard as I'd been afraid it was going to be.

And, though I can't quite cross it off The List, "install washer and dryer" got one big step closer today as they were delivered this morning.
As part of getting ready for that, Matt installed a few pieces of the base trim in the laundry room, which you can see here. Apparently the person who helped him place the order forgot the piece that allows the washer and dryer to stack, so he'll have to remedy that, but that will fit easily in our cargo-Neon.

Funny boys

[Krassi, thinking to himself] I can totally get over this thing.
 See? I'm almost there.
Thankfully, this is as far as he got. Without the higher edge of that desk to pull with his arms, he still can't quite get up to standing unassisted. Yet.

 [Reuben, thinking to himself] Man, I am SUCH the helper in this kitchen. I don't know what Mom would do without me!!
 [Mom, thinking to herself] Umm. Thanks, Reuben. How am I supposed to get all of those out of there? Summer squash and onion infused toasted bagels, anyone?
 [Mom, out loud] "No, Reuben, the squash and onions go into the pot. The pot, Reuben. Not the toaster. NO!! Not in the sink, either! They go in the pot. Yes. Thank you, Reuben."
 And last, but not least, look at my funny boy who all winter long would do anything to pull off his covers, so I'd have to go in after he was asleep to cover him up so he'd stay warm enough in the night. On this cooler summer night when I checked on him, he'd pulled a blanket on all by himself! And not just any blanket, but a quilt hand-sewn just for him by his mommy. ;) Bet he never did that in all those years in the orphanage!

Monday, July 28, 2014

Good day's work

Matt's got a lighter work-work load this week, so there's extra time to get house-work!

Today he was out there this afternoon, and this evening he and I were able to go out there together. We didn't do anything that actually gets an item crossed off The List, but were able to move forward varnishing of window jambs and installing some window and door trim. (If anyone's tracking, these are items #3, 7, and 8.)
Bedroom windows fully trimmed out

Front sitting room (a.k.a. "woodshop" these days!) windows all trimmed out

And door trim on the inside of the bathroom, since the floor is already in on that side.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Crossing things off The List

After 48 hours with my parents in town, and the work Matt and I did earlier in the week to get ready, we've made a significant dent on the list. (Please remember that this list is only what needs to be done to get Matt's mom moved in, and NOT to get the whole addition complete!)

- final coat of sealer on concrete (happening at the end of this week) 
- lay rosin paper over basement floor (for delivery of trim)
- varnish trim (will be delivered, mostly already cut into the right width strips, next Tuesday)
 Lots of head way on this - see photos below.
- install one more door and hardware upstairs
- install wood floors on upper level and...
-  ...down stairs to main level
- make and install extension jambs for windows
Seven of nine are built, and in various stages of being varnished.  
- install trim on windows, doors, base and down the stairs
- install trim in laundry room
- hang laundry room pocket door (maybe not necessary before move-in)
- install bathroom sink
- install sink hardware
- install toilet
- install bathtub hardware
- caulk the bathtub
- build bathroom shelves
- install bathroom mirror (which, as Matt's pointing out, is more like design/buy/build/install bathroom mirror)
- install closet rod
- build doors for the low closet (Maybe. We may just hang fabric on a tension rod.)
- remove window and... neat photos on this one, too!
- ...finish opening between old and new
- install laundry sink
- install washer and dryer (set to be delivered on Tuesday)
- install handrail

I really do get to help sometimes! It's just a few pieces, but earlier this week Matt and I started sanding and varnishing the fine-grade birch plywood that will be the trim. Here I'm working on the stair stringers.
Then my mom came and kicked the production into high gear. Every time I walked out there I felt like I was in a bakery with shelves and shelves of things on cooling racks, or rising and waiting for the ovens. Because Mom works well in production mode, she's got everything for Barb's spaces triple coated as well as as much more as she could spread out at one time, so this is a big boost.
Yay! Plumbing fixtures!! This is the same sink we put in when we remodeled our old bathroom four years ago. I like it because it keeps the floor open, has quite a bit of "storage" surface, and a really practical towel bar.
And the water works!!!
Matt and my Dad also got the hardware for the bathtub installed. The blue protective liner is still on most of the tub, and it's not caulked yet.
In Barb's bedroom we have lots of boxes of cherry flooring acclimating and waiting to be laid down. The orangey stuff is the underlayment, and he and I have most of that bedroom done, but still need to clean the subfloor in the front room before it's ready to go in there.
But this was probably the most exciting thing, if only because of what it symbolizes. Notice there's no window?? This was the weekend that we went from two parts of the house to...one!!!
There is now no more separation between the old and the new! (Well, except for a large ottoman that fits between the desk and the couch to keep a certain determined Bulgarian from prematurely exploring his new territory! But I moved it for the photo.)




We're optimistically looking at a move-in date of roughly three weeks from now, assuming we don't encounter any major snags along the way. After over a year of working on this project, it's hard to believe that we've almost achieved our goal!

Friday, July 25, 2014

Determination

It's amazing what a little bit of determination can do.
I've written before about how Krassi is getting so much stronger and coordinated in his abilities to get himself up on the furniture. He's been practicing frequently, and I'll usually hear him whimpering a bit and know that he wants to get up but just can't quite do it without that bit of support at the transition. But he's never been able to do it by himself.

I believe I've also written about how much Krassi loves to be in the addition. Sometimes he will sit and whine on the floor under the window-that-will-be-an-opening. Well, today was no different, but since we'd been all out there a few days ago just playing around when it was all completely open and clean, he was freshly interested. But there's a lot of work going on out there right now, so he can't be out there.

But BOY does he want to be! So, this is what I found him doing a little later...
Do you see that? He is standing up!!! His legs are completely scissored, but he did this all by himself!!!

I keep thinking that this kind of internal self-motivation and determination are big parts of this little boy's character that helped him to survive in circumstances of severe neglect for over nine years of his life. Even more exciting to me is thinking about what he may be able to achieve now with the combination of self-motivation, determination and a family who will do everything we can to cheer him on and equip him to be all that he can be. It's hard to put words to how beautiful it is to be able to be that for this boy.

You go, Krassi!

Monday, July 21, 2014

Simple summer pleasures


What's better on a beastly hot day of summer than playing in nice cold well water???

As it's been drier around here and I've been transplanting perennials, the kids and I have been doing some watering here and there, and Krassi appeared interested, so I filled up a can and set it next to him yesterday.


It was very well received. But, as you can see from the center photo, he tends to get a little over-zealous, and very soon the water is gone. And that's not so much fun.

But the hose, now, that's another story! The water doesn't stop. Such a simple thing, and yet to think that he's probably never, in a decade of living, done something quite like this, turns it into a pretty grand experience.

[Go here for the video]

(And, in all honesty, lest you think life around here is all smiles and giggles as these pictures and video suggest, I'll let you know that within 30 minutes of taking that video, I had four of six children crying - two of them pretty intensely - another one who was scowling, and a pot of water at a rolling boil waiting almost 10 minutes for pasta to be added for a nice supper that won't heat up the very hot and humid house too much. Sorry, no video of that! But those moments pass, too. And by supper time the pasta salad was nicely chilled, and five out of six children were happy. The scowling one, not so much. Maybe by tomorrow!)

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The List (updated)

So, like most lists, I'm expecting this one to get longer before it gets shorter. Last night as Matt and I were out there I realized that "install handrail" is not on The List and really ought to be. So onto The List it goes.

Last night Matt and I got 90% of the underlayment for the wood floor in Barb's bedroom put down. We also chalked lines for where the joist are underneath, because we can't afford to stick nails in the wrong spot and risk puncturing our radiant tubing! That would be a mess when we turned the heat on this fall. ;) But that doesn't get anything crossed off, since it's only a subset of item #4.

- final coat of sealer on concrete (happening at the end of this week) 
- lay rosin paper over basement floor (for delivery of trim)
- varnish trim (will be delivered, mostly already cut into the right width strips, next Tuesday)
- install one more door and hardware upstairs (Matt and I should get that done this week)
- install wood floors on upper level and...
-  ...down stairs to main level
Today Matt and Owen made two trips to Matt's mom's house to bring the boxes of wood flooring from her basement where we've kept them for the last 9 months or so over here to the addition. They're supposed to sit and "temper" to their space for 72 hours before installation, which means that it will all be here and ready when my parents come on Thursday! This isn't a specific line item, but it's a necessary precursor, and one more thing accomplished.
- install trim on windows, doors, base and down the stairs
- install trim in laundry room
- hang laundry room pocket door (maybe not necessary before move-in)
- install bathroom sink
- install sink hardware
- install toilet
- install bathtub hardware
- caulk the bathtub
- build bathroom shelves
- install bathroom mirror (which, as Matt's pointing out, is more like design/buy/build/install bathroom mirror)
- install closet rod
- build doors for the low closet (Maybe. We may just hang fabric on a tension rod.)
- remove window and...
- ...finish opening between old and new
- install laundry sink
- install washer and dryer
- install handrail

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Physical progress

Look how I caught Krassi not just once, but a few times today!
His legs are SO relaxed! Although we still see plenty of scissoring, it's pretty neat to also periodically see him in a position like this all on his own. It's obvious that regular physical therapy, and the attempts at stretching that I do with him throughout the day are making a difference, but as I look at this picture, I can tell it's more than physical - he keeps showing signs of being increasingly comfortable in his environment, as though little by little he's learning what it means to have a home.

A few nights ago in the late evening I heard him grinding his teeth. This was a very regular occurrence when he first came home, and has gradually lessened. It's been a while since I've heard it from him. I tried something that night inspired by something my mom shared with me back when Leah was potty training about verbal suggestion while sleeping (in particular, talking "dry thoughts" out loud to your sleeping child has the potential to help them stay dry through the night.) Who knows if it made a difference in potty training, but I've held onto the idea that even while sleeping our brains can be aware of our surroundings, and often when I'm in looking at my sleeping children before turning in myself, I will speak my thoughts out loud to them. "I love you so much. I hope you sleep well. I look forward to spending the day with you tomorrow." I decided to try this with Krassi, so, without waking him, I gently touched his jaw where the grinding focuses, and softly told him, "You're okay, Krassi. You're home with Mommy and Daddy and we love you so much. You don't have to be afraid. We're going to take care of you. You are so loved. Mommy is so glad that you are finally home with us, with your family, where you belong..."

And...the grinding...stopped.

And, at least for as long as I was still up and about that night, it didn't start again.

~~~

The photo above brought my mind back to a photo we were given of Krassi the day we first arrived in Sofia on our trip to meet him in March 2013. We were given the original, but later in the week after paperwork got sorted around to the appropriate offices, we were left with only a copy.

I wish I had photographed the original, but did not know at the time it would be something we didn't get to keep until it was too late.

As far as I can tell, this photograph is from 2009, so when Krassimir was 5 years old.

My stomach turns every time I see this picture of my son. He looks so tiny, so helpless, so terrified as he's held there like a specimen to be documented instead of a little boy to be loved and cared for. It reminds me of how little I know about him, and about his past, about his memories. What was his life like before we knew him? It makes a simply photo of him laying on the floor now mean so much more.


A list

I like lists. Even more than lists in general, I like crossing things off lists.

An email I sent to my parents earlier this week in anticipation of their visit next week included a list. It's an exciting list to me, as it's an attempt at a comprehensive list of what needs to be completed before Matt's mom can move in. To be at a point where it's possible to make a detailed list is really exciting, because it must mean we're getting closer!

To make it even better, I saw an email in our inbox today where Matt responded to a question about location for something happening on August 25th by saying he expected his mom would be living here by then. Which, of course, means that we're both thinking we're getting really close!

For any of you reading this who also appreciate lists, here is my list which I'm hoping to post periodically as we progressively get things crossed off so you can all enjoy the satisfaction that comes from getting things crossed off lists! If you aren't a list sort of person, just scroll down to the photos. ;) (Mom, if you compare you'll notice that this list is just a very bit edited from the one I sent you - this one has been proofed by Matt, so is slightly more accurate than the one I made up on my own. He is, after all, the general contractor on this job!)

- final coat of sealer on concrete (happening at the end of this week)
                YAY!! I can already cross this one off!
- varnish trim (will be delivered, mostly already cut into the right width strips, next Tuesday)
- install one more door and hardware upstairs (Matt and I should get that done this week)
- install wood floors on upper level and...
-  ...down stairs to main level
- install trim on windows, doors, base and down the stairs
- install trim in laundry room
- hang laundry room pocket door (maybe not necessary before move-in)
- install bathroom sink
- install sink hardware
- install toilet
- install bathtub hardware
- caulk the bathtub
- build bathroom shelves
- install bathroom mirror (which, as Matt's pointing out, is more like design/buy/build/install bathroom mirror)
- install closet rod
- build doors for the low closet (Maybe. We may just hang fabric on a tension rod.)
- remove window and...
- ...finish opening between old and new
- install laundry sink
- install washer and dryer

And here are a few photos from today...
Half-way through the second coat of sealer.

Moment of truth - how well did the masking over the tree slice work? This has been covered up for quite a few weeks now.

And the answer is - good! Quite good. The slice is nearly perfect (will need just a bit of touch-up) and the whole room looks so much more like a real room! In Matt's words, "Fireplace and trim and we're done!" That may be a slight oversimplification, but is definitely indicative of the optimism that's floating around here tonight.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Still no sink...

...but that's because Matt decided to shift gears slightly, figuring that the sink and toilet are fairly self-contained projects and that he was going to tackle things that are pre-cursors to other parts of the process.

So, that means that over the last week he and I have been slipping out there to hang a door or two here and there, and then later to install the latch hardware. These doors (and their five siblings) have been living in our existing basement for the last year since we purchased and finished them last summer. What a nuisance that was, trying to find room to keep seven doors in an already small-and-packed-with-other-building-supplies basement, but how lovely to be able to just hang them up now that we're ready for them!!
There's one more to install upstairs, and then two in the basement that won't be going in for a while yet, but that's okay, because Grandma doesn't need the basement finished before she can move in! That level is completely our space.

Tonight Matt got the subfloors swept and then wiped down to prepare for any last leveling compound, because the next step upstairs is putting in the cherry floors!
And lastly, despite the "only work on tasks necessary for Grandma to move in" goal, having rosin paper down on the floors of the entry/office landing was too much for Matt, and he's over the course of a few smaller chunks of time gotten that primed, first coat on, and tonight is finishing the last color's second coat. Now when we take up that rosin paper, it will be for the last time! It also means that Matt was able to get another light fixture put in, getting one more thing out of the existing basement and where it belongs.
Pictures are always more interesting with people in them, so Owen obliged me by standing up on the stool so I could get him in the photo of the office light fixture. ;)
Coming up is one last whole-scale cleaning as the concrete finisher will be back on Thursday or Friday to do the last coat of [very stinky] sealer, while the addition is still olfactorally (is that a word?) separate from the part of the house that we're currently living in. After that final coat is on and dry (and not stinky) we can remove the window and wall that separate the two halves of the house. We'll also be ready to install trim, which has been ordered and is ready to be delivered as soon as we say so.

I believe I mentioned it before, but want to mention again how God was right to have us wait for some of these things. Over the last few weeks I am seeing more and more how his schedule is part of the way he is providing for the funds to make this project happen. We have not once had to put anything on hold because we lacked adequate cash flow. The work has been on hold, or super slow speed, at many times, but never, not even once because we did not have the money to pay for the next step. God has simply faithfully supplied what we needed when we needed it. I'm not trying to suggest that projects will never be on hold because of funding, but simply that this was specifically an area that God demonstrated was one of the ways he was expecting us to trust him a year and a half ago, and here we are, a year and a half later, with no debt after spending more than five times our normal yearly income on these two endeavors (the addition and the adoption). It's pretty exciting to be sitting here with just over $400 in our checking account tonight knowing that we're not going to be left hanging here at the end. Matt's abundance of work means he has less time to put in on the addition, and more money to do it with. Even the "terrible" news that the sump pump had been left unplugged and there was water in the basement stud cavities ended up being a piece of all this. The water turned out to be a very simple to resolve problem, but before we knew that, we already had an agreement to retain a portion of the invoice, so there's $1200 that ought to have been paid, but isn't, so we're not $800 short in our checking account today. ;) And by this time next week when that work is done, we'll have the money to pay for it.

Wow.

They who wait on the Lord will not be disappointed. It's only me who thinks things need to be done at a certain time.

ps. Matt just came in and says he learned what happens when you try to clean up hastily. You step back into a five-gallon bucket of ceiling paint, soaking your shoe, and resulting in your sock being thrown away. So there, now you know, and you don't have to try it yourself!

Friday, July 11, 2014

Communication

It's still my hope to do a big "sum it all up" post about how Krassi's doing since coming home, but apparently it's not going to happen as soon as I thought. ;)

So, in the meantime, here's a little glimpse into Krassimir's world:
Krassi is holding a little stuffed Texas A&M football given to him by a friend of his.

If you bang it, it sings. ;)

Usually I'm not so into the noisy kind of toys. Children make enough noise that they don't need toys to do it for them! But I LOVE this little toy for a number of reasons. First, it comes from a pretty neat person with a neat connection to Krassi, but I also like it because of what it represents to me about where Krassi's level of understanding is.

After years of living with an essentially non-verbal Reuben, who is slowly gaining some vocabulary, I now know what it's like to live with a completely non-verbal child in Krassi. With Reuben, we had, fairly early on, a few basic signs (things that mattered to him, like cat and airplane and water), and also remember how elated I was when Reu learned to nod his head yes and no. It is amazing how much you can learn when you can ask yes/no questions and get an answer!!!

Krassi does not have that skill yet. We have yet to get any meaningful attempts at sign language, and really nothing vocally besides a general happy/sad and some degree of how much happy or sad he is. (Not to mention the fact that Bulgaria is the only country where you shake your head up and down to mean no and side to side to mean yes! But he doesn't do either one of these, so there's no confusion there.)

But, like Reuben, what Krassimir is able to understand goes much farther than what he can express. For being a child with an IQ, supposedly, of "less than 40," he's sure done a good job of picking up a second language! We've noticed his ability to respond appropriately to our comments for months, demonstrating his knowledge of labels in English for many different things and actions. When our Texas friend was here, she was speaking to him in Bulgarian (her native language as well), and at first he looked surprised to be hearing the language again, after 8 months of not much beyond our feeble attempts at it when he first came home. Once he got over his surprise, he seemed to like hearing someone speaking to him in such a friendly way in his native language. When he was given the present of the ball, she explained it to him in Bulgarian, and he immediately started trying to bang it to get it to work. No luck. So she told him in Bulgarian to bang it harder, and he did! But still no luck.

So fast forward a week or two. He's seen the other kids playing with the ball and making noises with it on many occasions. He and I are sitting in the living room, and it's near him, so I ask him, "Why don't you try banging your ball again? See if you can get it to make noise?" And he did!!

That's my smart boy. ;) You may not say much (anything!) but you understand so much, and in two languages. That's more than I can say for myself!

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Brother/sister

It's hard to tell what he's thinking when he does it, but if Evania is anywhere near Krassi, he always seeks her out. He doesn't really look at her, but always wants to touch her, and his intention seems gentle, though he needs some guidance in the execution of it.

I think it's neat that Evania will grow up never knowing a time in her life when her oldest brother was not part of her family. She, coming after him, in some way represents to me the finality of Krassimir becoming our son. His other brothers and sisters will all have (at least some) memories of before their oldest brother was part of our family, and memories of the process of adopting him, but to Evania, he will always be just her brother.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Reu update

Reuben and Matt got home in the early morning hours and we'll call his neurologist today.

Reuben, having spent the night sleeping in the ER, is all perky this morning. Matt, not so much. ;)

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

No sink

As a reminder that we're not the ones who make the plans, our plan for the night (after an afternoon when Matt had time to finish second coating the walls on the main level, meaning we can take up the rosin paper and get the next coat of sealer on the concrete floors as soon as their schedule allows) was to hang the sink, and maybe install the toilet, provided Evania slept well.

Instead, Matt and Reuben took a leisurely ride to the ER in an ambulance after an unusual run of seizures resulted in our using his emergency medication for the first time. It worked (which we were not sure of since a number of people with his syndrome do not respond to it), and he's doing fine, but standard protocol for the first time someone uses this medication is to call 911 as there's a possibility of respiratory distress requiring emergency assistance. The paramedics wanted to take him to the ER so they could continue to monitor his vital signs as he sleeps, and, eventually as he comes out of it.

Last I heard from Matt, Reuben is still sleeping (the medication knocks you out) and has not had any seizures, and we're still waiting to hear if they will send him home yet during the night or admit him for VEEG (video electro-encephalogram - electrodes all over his head) tomorrow.
Almost three years ago, when Reu was 16 months old, was his first VEEG. He was still such a little baby!

In the meantime, there is no sink, nor is there a toilet. God is good in so many ways that we can't figure out on our own!