[September Review] Visiting Tsvetomira

Although I've got photos of the basement bedroom to share, I've got to get photos of Tsvetomira, our little pearl, up for you to see first!

On two of our four visits with Tsvetomira, I walked up those stairs to her orphanage (which, by the way, looks slightly updated now from this photo which was taken three years ago - there's a new sign, new windows and doors) with trepidation inside - can we really do this? What are we getting into?

 

 Matt and I just learned a few days ago from our Bulgarian adoption lawyer that since the children's files became active at Krassimir and Tsvetomira's orphanage about four to five years ago, that there have been two or three other families who have committed to Tsvetomira, and then backed out for various reasons. 

I can sympathize with the uncertainty! It's pretty clear that she will have the opportunity for better medical care in the U.S., but how much that will do for her is unclear. Matt was very much the leader into this adventure to make her our daughter, and it is my joy to follow, but I have to honestly say that when I printed off photos of children from Krassi's old orphanage to pray for until they got families, *I* had already decided I'd be willing to adopt the young, cute one with relatively mild needs. It never occurred to me that Tsvetomira might be our daughter.

 But as I look at this picture now - the first one we have of us with our peaceful little flower, my mama-heart aches to be with her again. On both of those visits (the first and third) where walking down that sidewalk and up those stairs filled me with uncertainty, those doubts were erased as soon as I was there in that room with our girl.

On paper she is very frightening.

Look at that precious girl looking at her Daddy. It's hard to tell for sure, but there were multiple occasions where we were both quite certain she was looking at us.

 In person, she is simply that - a person. A tiny, needy person, yes, but a real, live person. A person who needs someone (or more than one!) to love her. To LOVE her, not just care for her.

That's kind of a monumental task. But I've got the best Teacher anyone could have about what it is to love someone. Christmas is an appropriate time to think about the One who so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son... And that Son came and took on everything that it is to be human and lived with us - knows the struggles we go through, knows the struggles Tsvetomira goes through.

I hope that when I come she will remember my voice, and my touch. Not long now, baby girl!