Time with Mommy

Somehow in the midst of this rush to the finish line, there's still time to spend with little ones. Matt caught me today playing on the swing with Krassimir.

How delightful it is to be playful with this tiny boy and to see him respond with delight himself. At times like these I wonder at the gaping hole (to me) that is his life before him. All those years of memories and world-view-shaping experiences that he's had - that are all inside of him and have made him who he is today - and they are dark, silent to us, his family. We weren't there. We don't know what it was like for him to live those days, weeks, years of emptiness. And he has no way to tell us.

So we do what we can, which is take it one step at a time forward, and make memories with him today.

Thursday progress

Matt spent his whole day out in the addition, so this is now where we stand, with one week to go:
- final coat of sealer on concrete 
- lay rosin paper over basement floor 
- varnish trim (will be delivered, mostly already cut into the right width strips, next Tuesday)
- install one more door and hardware upstairs
- install wood floors on upper level and... 

-  ...down stairs to main level (great progress: Stringers: 100%. Risers: 90%. Runs and landing: 85%. Nosings: 75%)

The lower half-flight of stairs as it looks at quitting time tonight.

A pleasant side-effect of the way Matt designed these stairs is that the contrast between the cherry wood flooring and the natural/clear maple/birch trim used for the nosings makes a visual marker of the change in height at the stairs - a safety technique you may have seen in commercial buildings at times, but here just a natural part of the way we're constructing the stairs!  (For reference, because it's an odd photo, this is taken at the landing looking down the stairs.)

And here is a detail of the clear maple/birch stringers, risers, and nosing against the cherry treads.

- make and install extension jambs for windows
- install trim on windows, doors, base and down the stairs
- install trim in laundry room
- hang laundry room pocket door (maybe not necessary before move-in) (Nope! Not necessary!)
- install bathroom sink
- install sink hardware
- install toilet
- install bathtub hardware
- caulk the bathtub
- build bathroom shelves (We started these today! The shelves are cut to width, and first coat of varnish is on. At the same time we also started and have at the same point the shelves for Barb's sitting room - another bonus not on The List!)
- install bathroom mirror (which, as Matt's pointing out, is more like design/buy/build/install bathroom mirror)

Frame, but no mirror...

...and with the mirror and face frame! For those of you who care and/or are watching, please notice how the rogue electrical outlet box is slowly getting covered up!

- install closet rod(s)
- build doors for the low closet (Maybe. We may just hang fabric on a tension rod.) (Yep. Definitely going to be a curtain. And likely not done before Barb moves in!)
- remove window and...
- ...finish opening between old and new

- install laundry sink
- install washer and dryer
- install handrail (We got three of four brackets installed, and the first rail cut to length, but not installed.)

List update with 9 days to go

- final coat of sealer on concrete 
- lay rosin paper over basement floor 
- varnish trim (will be delivered, mostly already cut into the right width strips, next Tuesday)
Yes! Done!
- install one more door and hardware upstairs
- install wood floors on upper level and... 
-  ...down stairs to main level (started! Stringers: 100%. Risers: 75%. Runs and landing: 50%. Nosings: 0%)

- make and install extension jambs for windows
- install trim on windows, doors, base and down the stairs
- install trim in laundry room
- hang laundry room pocket door (maybe not necessary before move-in)
- install bathroom sink
- install sink hardware
- install toilet
- install bathtub hardware
- caulk the bathtub
- build bathroom shelves
- install bathroom mirror (which, as Matt's pointing out, is more like design/buy/build/install bathroom mirror)
Took the whole evening, but we got this started tonight! Sometimes the brain work is just as tough as the physical work.

 
- install closet rod
- build doors for the low closet (Maybe. We may just hang fabric on a tension rod.)
- remove window and...
- ...finish opening between old and new

We at least need to finish the floor. The current situation, shown in the photo, has a 3/4" drop to the old subfloor, including an abandoned heat vent. The heat vent has only claimed a few matchbox cars and one ball. I think we've gotten most of them out. Even if the sides and top of the opening aren't finished, the floor needs to be a continuous, smooth surface for safety reasons!

- install laundry sink
- install washer and dryer
- install handrail (Reu and Rin helped me purchase these, and Matt got the last coat of varnish on tonight)


And, of course, I could write a whole new list of things that are arising as we go. Things including, but certainly not limited to:
- hang window shades
- patch and repaint all of the places where we banged up the walls. ;)
- install vent cover for the Venmar in Barb's bedroom 
- find and install a "Determined Bulgarian" proof gate for the stairs going down to the office/entry landing.
- cut, varnish, install access hatch for Barb's bathroom
- cut, varnish, and install back panel of laundry access hatch (since Reuben thinks that's really cool now that the washer and dryer are in. We found some "treasures" in the dryer vent when we hooked up the ducting! and we needed to get it closed off.)

now you see the back of the washer/dryer from the living room side...

...and now you don't!

 But having a deadline is good. It forces us to tackle the really important stuff, and to leave the things that really can wait. Should be many more nice photos coming soon!

List status (Updated with photos)

It's about time I updated The List. So, without further ado (because, really, with losing Tommy combined with our city losing its first police officer killed in the line of duty last week - I have never in my life seen as many law enforcement vehicles in a row as I did this morning as they streamed past our house for the funeral! There was a solid line of police cars, county sheriffs, state troupers, etc, etc for over 45 minutes - easily over 500 vehicles, I would guess(learned on the news last night that 4000 law enforcement personnel were in attendance from all over the US and even Canada) - to a friend of mine waiting to see if she has or has not miscarried her sweet baby - it's been quite a week) here is the list as it currently stands:

- final coat of sealer on concrete 
- lay rosin paper over basement floor 
- varnish trim (will be delivered, mostly already cut into the right width strips, next Tuesday)
 I *think* but am not sure, that we've now got everything we need final coated.
- install one more door and hardware upstairs
- install wood floors on upper level and... (all done except for some little strips that need to be ripped for the edges)
-  ...down stairs to main level
- make and install extension jambs for windows
- install trim on windows, doors, base and down the stairs
- install trim in laundry room
- hang laundry room pocket door (maybe not necessary before move-in)
- install bathroom sink
- install sink hardware
- install toilet
- install bathtub hardware
- caulk the bathtub
- build bathroom shelves
- install bathroom mirror (which, as Matt's pointing out, is more like design/buy/build/install bathroom mirror)
- install closet rod
- build doors for the low closet (Maybe. We may just hang fabric on a tension rod.)
- remove window and...
- ...finish opening between old and new
- install laundry sink (nearly done, but there is a minor leak and I'm not sure if its resolved, so won't cross it off until I'm certain)
- install washer and dryer (installed, and it works! We ran a trial load today!)
- install handrail (Reu and Rin helped me purchase these, and we've got the first coat of varnish on)

And I have photos to share, but won't get them up until tomorrow most likely.

Even more significant, we have a moving date!!! In just over two weeks a small moving crew will show up at Matt's mom's and bring her things over here. Hiring movers accomplishes two things: first, it means the date is solid and won't tend to float, and secondly, it means that Matt doesn't have to wrestle her piano up the stairs!!

"Dew" thinks he's sanding with Dad

Owen nails on window trim in the laundry room

Window trim at the stairs, tying into the trim band that separates the two wall colors in the stair well and runs at the top of the larger shelf.

Wood floors complete in the front room (with the exception of a tiny strip by the wall that needs to be ripped to size.)

The hallway at the top of the stairs is finished up to the nosing of the first stair. Stairs will be a whole new learning curve. ;)

Look! Stacked washer and dryer! (And the blue iPad in the doorway so we can monitor Reuben. He's always in the pictures one way or another, it seems!)

And on the other side of the laundry room, the not-quite-perfect-yet laundry sink and [gasp] a pre-made cabinet purchased and screwed into the wall. No custom design in here. ;) Done. Good. (And that wasn't even on the list, so I can't cross it off!!)

Testing out the washing machine was a big deal. Reuben was a little bit too enthusiastic about it at times. I'm glad the machine has a lock function when its running. There would have water all over the floor without a doubt otherwise.

Fourteen years

Fourteen years ago I married a man who has surprised me in many wonderful ways since then. What an adventure our life together has been, and it doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon!

The family looks a little different than it did a year ago, doesn't it? I'm guessing this is likely the last time we'll have a 50% increase in the number of children over the course of a year. ;)

Risk

Lately we've been calling Krassi "Krassimir Danger Glewwe" or "Krassimir Trouble Glewwe" as he's becoming stronger, more adventurous, and just overall more alive and little-boyish.

We think this is a good thing. ;) Though it sure does make us have to work a little harder to take care of him! I think often of how much "easier" it would be to do what the staff at his orphanage did for so many years - keep them in their cribs so they never have the chance to learn to use their muscles - feed them only the bare minimum so they don't have any strength - never encourage them to try new things, but instead teach them through experience that you're safer if you just stay still and don't make waves.

In short, keep them (barely) alive, but rob them of living.

Nope. Not around here! Around here we take on the risky business of living life every day. We get dirty (and even eat it, sometimes!), we fall down, we get scrapes and bruises (though no broken bones for our kids. Yet.) So, with that, guess what Krassi did by himself today.

Yup. He pulled himself up to standing again completely independently. Twice. And this time, it wasn't by the desk and window where he had really good solid grip well placed where he could really rely on his upper body strength. Not at all. The first time was up onto the couch (lowish, nothing to really grab onto), and the second onto the Duplo table (a better height and a good edge to grip, but also open underneath so prone to the problem of his knees sliding too far forward under the edge).

Look at that boy! I was close by, but he did this ALL BY HIMSELF!!! (Thank you, Leah, for taking the photo so I could stay close.)

And, of course, Rinnah, budding photographer, wanted to take some. Here he is with my hands coming up as he's wearing out. Getting down is still not something he's really good at.

And ha! she caught the moment when his legs gave out a little too far above the floor and I was able to catch him before he tumbled all the way down.

But I can't always catch him. I can count just in the last 24 hours three times when we heard a great big thump as he tumbled - not even from a fully pulled up position, but from an even less hazardous position where he still is lacking in the strength and foresight to keep himself safe.

Because when you've lived in a crib for 9 years you never get to learn what it means to fall. I'm sure he's going to bed some nights with bruises that he never had when he lived his life "safely" in a crib. (And I'm saying that gritting my teeth at the thought of what his former life entailed, and the broad-reaching ramifications that life had for him and his "brothers and sisters.")

~~~

It's tough as a mom watching your three-year-old daughter running really fast on the concrete driveway (thinking oooh - go a little slower! don't fall down and skin up those precious knees!) or remembering Owen learning to ride with training wheels (heart in the throat as one of the training wheels gets stuck in a rut and he...almost...no - phew - didn't fall over) or seeing your oldest daughter swinging so high that there's that little bump at the peak of the swing. But in order to grow you have to take chances, push your limits, and sometimes you have to fall to learn how gravity works, and to learn how (and why!) you can do it differently next time.

Life is risky business. And there's no way to risk-proof our children (or ourselves, for that matter!) from what life brings our way. And, really, if we tried to protect our children from every hurt we would end up doing more damage in the long run.

~~~

It's taken me a number of days to be able to write about what I'm going to share next because it cuts at my heart so deeply.

Last week Krassi lost another one of his "brothers" from his years in the Pleven orphanage. Tiny Tommy had lived nearly 16 years in that place before his mommy and daddy found him and eagerly welcomed him home. Sixteen is a magic number because in many countries (Bulgaria included) it marks the age at which you are deemed too old to be adopted. For a severely physically and mentally handicapped child like Tommy, his sixteenth birthday would have meant a transfer to an adult mental institution where he would have spent the rest of his days (and likely relatively few days because he's not able to fend for himself).

But that's not what happened. God worked through many seemingly impossible events to make it possible for Tommy's family to get through the hoops that adoption brings to be able to bring him home instead. Watching through photos and reading how he's grown over the last year (and a bit more) has been such a joy! After sixteen years of nothing, Tommy was surrounded by an exuberant family who have given him so many opportunities to live! After nearly seventeen years with no speech, he recently learned to say mama. Because he finally HAD a mama to say it to. ;)

Tommy joyfully patting a horse

And then last week we learned that he lost his life by accidental drowning.

It is so hard to even type those words.

My friend's precious son is gone.



And every time I think of it (which has been quite often over the last four days!!) something deep inside of me keeps saying life is risky. There is danger lurking around every corner. So get out there and live!!! As much as it rips my heart to think about this beloved boy being gone, and the pain that his family is going through right now, all I can think is, "Satan! You lost this battle! This little boy is no longer with us, but he had a chance to live before he died! He was loved! His life is one is part of a story of following God in obedience whatever the challenges along the way, and whatever the outcome, and God will be the victorious one in this story, too!"

One year ago

Today marks one year that we've been legally Krassimir's parents.

Pretty brain-tired today, so that's all I have to say, but didn't want the day to go by without making sure all of you who have been following along with us remembered with us!! ;)

Krassi thinks it's hilarious when Evania "snuggles" him, and she loves to "talk" to him.