Wednesday

This morning's visit started differently than the other ones we've had. We were supposed to meet with the director of the orphanage our first day here, but she has had a very challenging week and has not been available when we have been, so today we were finally able to meet with her. It was good to be able to ask some questions - some just silly logistical ones (we brought some clothes to donate, can we and how do we do that?) but also some more pressing ones (what is going on with the mention of seizures in the new report?) Her answer to this last question was what we had been hoping - those seizures were just from his first week of life, and were an after-effect of the premature birth and intra-cranial bleeding associated with the difficult birth. Knowing what we do about epilepsy, we know that for seizures to be considered "epileptic" a person needs to have more than one unprovoked seizure. There was a distinct, explainable reason for the seizures he experienced on his third day, and there is no evidence of any seizures after that, nor is he or has he been on any medication for seizures. We were very happy to hear this.

We also learned one thing we had wanted to know but weren't sure we would be able to find out - who named him. We have really liked K's native name, and have strongly considered keeping it as his name once he is adopted. It means "resurrection of peace" which is quite a cool name, and we also like the way it sounds, and have grown accustomed to it as a family. We found out today that this is the name that his birth mother named him. Some children are surrendered and then named by the orphanage staff. His name came from his birth mother. She was not able to give him much. She gave him life; she gave him his name. From what we know, she wanted to raise him, but was unable to do so because of the challenges his difficult birth has left him with. But knowing how significant the giving of a name is, we were excited to hear that his mother who gave birth to him also gave him this name. We also, as his parents, will want to give him a name, but nearly certainly will not replace the name he was already given, but rather add to it. [And because of privacy issues, until he is our son, this is why he gets the fancy "K" for the purposes of the blog! Likely he will be "K. E." and we could share the "E", but at this point, we'll just keep the whole thing under wraps until the unveiling when he is our boy. We never shared our other kids' names until they were born!]

But, back to our morning with K. Today we needed to take our boys (meaning our two families needed to take our two boys - we only get one!) to get their visa photos taken. These, along with other legalities, will be processed while we are back in the States, so when things are finalized and we return, there will not be *too* much running around to get him ready to leave. This meant that we got to take him OUT! Out into the snow, riding in the car, across the pedestrian way near our hotel into the little photo place. He was a little nervous in the car, but I think he actually let out a little sound of delight when we walked out the doors of the orphanage. I get the feeling that he likes being outside. ;)

Transitions are not a big thing for the orphanage staff, apparently. This may just be a cultural thing, too. ;) Anyway, the two boys came down in the elevator, all dressed in real clothes instead of just jammies, and were handed out to us and out we went! No adjustment to remember who we were, just "here you go and off you go!" So it was very neat to see that K did not appear to be too nervous being with me. He still doesn't like me the way he likes his baba and a few other people, but he's not afraid to be with me. We gave him the little black bear my mom sent, and he tucked his thumb into just the right spot, and held onto that guy the whole time we were gone.

Here's a photo from when we got back from our photo run. Between that and the director's meeting, we did not have much time left for a regular visit, but took advantage of the few minutes that we did have. Doesn't he look like a big boy in his regular clothes? (And those bright orange socks go significantly past his knees. I know. I tried to check!) There's that little black bear...When we left, he was NOT ready to give up his bear, so I let him take it, hoping that we'd see it back. (He had held onto the touch-and-feel cat book the day before and we hadn't seen that yet...)

After that short visit we went back to the hotel, had our lunch at our favorite place, the Oops, where you can get a nice sized slice of pizza for under $1. It's also easy to order. You walk up to the outdoor counter, hold up two fingers while saying "dvey" and then give them the money. No native speaking required beyond that! ;) Matt and I have learned that if we don't say anything, we are fairly passable as natives. A few young women even stopped us to ask for directions. We think. ;)

Our afternoon visit was really neat - we got to watch K work with his physical therapist! We got there just as she was starting to work with him. It was evident that he really likes her, as she was getting reactions out of him almost as happy as when he's with his baba. And no wonder - we found out that she works with him every day for 30 minutes. Wow. I had no idea he was getting that much time. She has been working with the children here for six months. From what I understand, before that time there were no physical therapists working with these children - they were completely bedridden except for diaper changes. Again, we were so happy to be able to tell her that the work she's done with him shows - he has far exceeded our expectations based on the photos and medical file we were given when we first committed to him in November, 2012.

She was very proud of what he is able to do. Six months ago, sitting like this on the edge of the table was impossible for him. We were pretty proud of him, too!

She starts each session with him with a long massage to loosen his tight muscles and work his joints around a bit. We were pleased to see how much he seemed to enjoy this time, and how very closely she watched his reactions to make sure that she was not causing him undue discomfort. What a revolutionary change this must be for this small boy! And little man has no idea what's coming later this year for him. ;) Huge changes, big, tough changes, but GOOD changes. He'll get his PT, and get to go home to mommy and daddy when he's done and show off what he's learning to do! I can't wait. ;) Apparently it kind of tickled when she zipped up his jammies. And notice, please, who is tucked into his hand in just the proper place!? Little black bear was still right with him, (as was the kitty book on a table near the door.)

K often seems very tired when he's with us. I'm not sure if this is just his "look" or if spending so much intense time with us this week is wearing him out! We also found out today that he takes medication to help relax his muscles, and I'm curious if this has any impact on his level of alertness.

After PT, we made our way back up to The Room where we get to spend our time with him. It's a fine room, but I know *I* at least am looking forward to diversifying where we can go with him!

We decided today was the day to get out the balloons we had brought, and we filled the white one with beads (colors carefully hand picked by Leah - no pink or purple beads in K's balloon!!) He wasn't so into it, but did bop it around a little. Well, little black bear did most of the bopping. ;) We hope to try again another day with a string tied around it so it has a little more movement.

We took the "black bear knocks down the balls" to a new level. Watching K with his PT made me a little more confident in how I can handle his tiny body. I've been concerned about hurting him - pushing his range of motion too far, or things like that - but seeing what he is capable of in that setting encouraged me to push a little further, which broadens what we're able to do together. The photo shows just how very weak his back is. His physical therapist mentioned that not only is he working against muscle weakness, but his spine is also deformed from so many years of being left to himself that it has grown improperly, so he has to work double time to sit straight. But like I mentioned yesterday, he's got quite a lot of determination for a little guy, and he's gotten a number of comments about how he has so much potential - he just needs lots of physical therapy [and, I would add, a family who loves him is going to give him leaps and bounds of encouragement, too!]

Kind of on a whim I started singing a simple clapping song with him in what we knew were our last few minutes of the afternoon, and was delighted to have Matt tell me how big he was smiling! He was trying to get his hand into the action, too. Very hard for him to do, but he would get his tight little hand near mine, and we would work together to maneuver it into some sort of a clap against my other hand. This again is a still shot from a video, which is the best way to share his fleeting smiles. I like this one. ;) Guess who's going to fall asleep thinking of more clapping songs tonight, hmmm?? ;)

One more highlight is we got a fairly decent picture of K with his mommy and daddy. We're going to try to take it to the photo place across the way tomorrow (well, Filip our translator may be invited to come with us!) so we can make a print of it to leave with K. One hard thing about this week is knowing that we are working to build a relationship with this little boy, and then will leave him. I want to do whatever we can to let him know that although we are gone, we are not abandoning him. I think his baba will be a big part of this. We see her again tomorrow, and are going to supply her as well as we can with what she needs to remind K every week that he has a mama and daddy who love him and who are going to come back for him. We have two visits tomorrow, and then only one on Friday. Three more times to give this boy a taste of what it is to be loved by his mama and daddy. We know he does not yet love us (though definitely accepts being around us, and seems to enjoy that time well enough), but we love him, and we hope that as he gets to know us when he's home that he will grow to love us. It is clear that he is capable of loving, and in that sense, it's okay with us that he doesn't yet reciprocate our affections for him. That means that someday when we *do* get the reaction from him that his baba, or his sweet PT gets, that we'll know we have earned something precious.