Today Bobbi ended up spending 12 hours on her own. Matt came home this morning after she went to her first session, and because of how the day worked out, he wasn't realistically able to get down there again until nearly 9pm this evening.
She called in the afternoon, just to talk. She's lonely. And teasing that we must not love her since we're not coming to see her! Silly girl.
But at the same time, not so silly. She may be an adult in age, but she's also less than two years into knowing what it is to have parents, a family, to be truly loved and not just cared for. (Because she was cared for. Her history is so very different from that of Tsvetomira and Krassimir. She came home with a photo album of her past - birthday parties at the home, group outings to the zoo in Sofia, time spent lounging on the couch with caregivers and other kids. She's still in touch regularly via facebook not only with some of the other kids she grew up with, but with quite a few of the staff as well. They care about her, and want to know how she's doing, and she cares about them.) But having someone care for you is not the same as having a family who loves you, and is in it with you for the long haul.
Additionally, regardless of how she was treated by the staff around her, there was still the over-arching reality that, with her physical disability, there was NO future for her in that country. Besides the tremendous challenges of trying to navigate adult life without the support of a family who's got your back, is the basic reality that living in a wheelchair means that most of the world around her was just simply not accessible, and certainly not accessible without assistance. Makes it hard to get a job, an apartment, groceries - anything! In many ways, her ability to survive her childhood in that world was by very exclusively living in the moment, leaving her with very little ability to cast a vision for the future. Despite that, we are seeing an amazing self-determination in her, but it's balanced by a tendency toward despair (as in, why did I ever have this surgery? It's never going to be better. I'll never be able to walk.) With that girl, it's kind of all or nothing. 😊
We have the joy (and intense work) of being a voice of truth for her in the down moments of the days. Yes, it's already getting better! If you were able to do the walking you were doing before this surgery, you really are going to be able to get there now that the mechanics of your legs is working for you and not against you. We're just at the beginning of a very long road, but it's road with something really worthwhile that we're (literally!) walking towards! There's a goal at the end of it, and it's going to be worth it, and we're here with you every step of the way, and we love you every step of the way, and when you feel like giving up, we're going to be there to pick you up and help you keep going.
Matt accidentally left his phone here on the charger when he left for the hospital, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see how the rest of the day went. And tomorrow, I'm hoping to swap with Matt and get down there myself with a few of the kids to see her. We miss her here.
No comments:
Post a Comment