outside my window...

Here's the view out the window next to my computer...

The day that our framer has been putting off as long as possible (when he works on the link between the existing house and the main body of the addition) because he wants to minimize the possibility of rain getting into our existing house has finally come. On this overcast, drizzly day, there is now a FLOOR! when we look out of window, and the existing wall in front of me is quivering as they're on the other side pulling siding off so they can get the new walls framed up and in place.

Now I can stop fielding questions from people who see it and wonder if the addition is going to be connected to the existing house! ;) Yes. It is.

NEWSFLASH:

A wall!!! Just went up, and since I'm still sitting here at my computer, within getting up from my chair I could snap this shot of the north wall of the link! Hot off the presses, less than 3 minutes old (maybe five by the time it uploads) is the stud framing of a WALL!

Pure joy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers

whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the 

testing of your faith

produces endurance.

And let endurance have its perfect result,

so that you may be perfect and complete,

not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

Some days are like that. There is nothing like motherhood (parenting - Matt had the same kind of day I did today!) to bring many trials. 

I think we had at least one, if not two, children crying at any given moment for most of the day. As I think back, that may be an exageration, but it's sure how it felt.

And then bickering. And children who won't take their shoes off when asked. And a certain child who thinks that if no one sees him grinding his elbow into a sibling that it's okay. And plenty of lower lips.

As I look back at what I've written, it looks kind of pathetic. I apparently don't know what real trials are! But James is talking about many kinds of trials, so I would like to think that these little trials are included in that. Because faith is tested - I have a chance to either believe or doubt that children are a blessing, or that walking (step by little step) by the Spirit brings the fruit of patience and self-control. And so in that way, my faith muscles were stretched today.

I have been struck by how much what we think affects how we look at situations in our life. It is significant to me that James does not write, "it feels like pure joy when you face many kinds of trials," but rather, "consider it pure joy." This is a choice I have to make. And if there is joy for me in looking forward to being perfect and complete, lacking nothing, then I can follow that back to consider days like these pure joy.

It, of course, took me until I was changing little diapers for pajama time to get this in the front of my mind, but what powerful words to use to fight against the alternative thoughts (what are we thinking adopting a child? How many will we have crying at one time, then? Why do we think that K is going to like it here? At least where he is now it's mostly quiet! You can't even parent the kids you already have, what are you doing adding another one?)

Here's another familiar passage, including the less familiar verse that comes before it:

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope. 

 The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail. 

They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

The whole chapter is worth reading to really get the full impact of verses 22 and 23 (and what follows!) but as I was reading here a few nights ago verse 21 had a huge impact on me - what does Jeremiah do? He recalls something to mind. It's a battle of what we think about again. And what happens when he recalls this? It gives him hope. He recalls to mind that there is no end to the lovingkindness and faithfulness of the Lord and that every morning he has new mercy, new compassion for us. This is something worth recalling to mind. I can't botch up today so badly that he can't give me new compassion for tomorrow.

There. I hope you didn't mind listening in as I talked to myself for a bit. ;) Now I think I'm ready for bed, and morning in the morning!

Practical matters

My mind is full of the excitement of what this week Friday will bring to us, and getting into the frame of mind for traveling to bring K home.

After a successful court hearing, we have to wait ~2 weeks to get travel dates which will be ~2-4 weeks after that, so we're looking at likely being in K's country one of the first three weeks in September to bring him home.

Which brings me to some rather mundane parts of this adventure (which I should know better than to think of as "mundane" since nothing that we do with God before us is "mundane"!) There are a few things that we need to be able to bring K home, and are asking God to provide these for us.

We are going to need a car seat for K. We would obviously like to have this before he comes, partly just to be ready, and also because I would like to bring it along on the trip, both for travel by car in his country as well as the plane ride home. He is too old/big to be held on my lap on the airplane during takeoff and landing, but does not sit unassisted well enough to be just buckled into his seat. We would love to not have to purchase something brand new, so are asking if anyone we know has one they are no longer using that is still current and in good condition. Based on the last information we have on him, which is not very recent, he is about the size of a small 4 year old or a tall 3 year old, so we're looking at a full height seat (not just a booster) that has a five-point harness.

We would like a temporary bed rail for K's bed. He has always slept in a crib, but when he comes home, he will be on the bottom bunk of Owen's bed. I have no idea how well he's going to make this transition, so both for his comfort and for our peace of mind during the night, we would like to start out with a rail.

Plane tickets. This is a big one. We have money that will likely cover K's ticket home. (I actually have no idea exactly how much his ticket will cost, but back in late spring we were given a very generous gift of $1000 by an internet friend who has had a special place in her heart for K since the first time she saw his photo, but was unable to adopt him herself, and our guess is that this will be roughly what we need to get him home.) But that leaves tickets for me to get there and back, and for Owen, my luggage boy/ native English speaker to get there and back. AND, Matt has said that he would feel more comfortable if I had another adult with me, so Owen and I may possibly be accompanied by a friend of ours who has a teenage son with cerebral palsy. She would be an obvious asset because of her experience with K's condition as well as for her enthusiastic personality. ;) But that's another ticket there and back.

Her coming at all is another point we would appreciate prayer on. There are so many things still up in the air about this trip. One obvious one is what the actual travel dates will be! We could very possibly be traveling during what is the first week of school here in MN, and our friend has three children, two of whom will be starting at new schools this year. Her husband also travels a lot for work, but on an unpredictable schedule. Last week late one night Matt and I actually thought of what would have been a nearly certain deal breaker - does she have a passport??? Because it would be *really* tough (not to mention expensive, if it was even possible) to get one quick enough at this point. So we asked and found out...she does!!!

And the last piece that's on my mind is that we will need money to pay for our hotel for the week we're in K's country. The hotel in the capital, which is where we have to be for the whole week, is more expensive than the hotel in K's city where we spent most of our days last time. And if we have four of us staying there (me, Owen, my friend, and K) we'll likely need a bigger, more costly room than when it was just me and Matt. Along with that is food. When Matt and I were there last time, we stretched our budget by doing most of our eating from the markets instead of going to the restaurants (though, really, the prices at the restaurants were VERY reasonable) and plan to do that this time, but again, we'll be feeding four instead of two.

I realize I know very little about who reads this blog. ;) But I know that many of you who do are people who pray, so if God directs you to pray for us, these are some specific things that we are asking for from him, knowing that he will supply all of our needs, and as you  join us, you can share in the joy of watching him meet those needs and get this boy home!!

Rock photo

I don't have much to say, but liked this photo and wanted a chance to share it.

I can't remember if I mentioned that our framer was on vacation last week, so not much happened on the house, and we knew that was what was going to happen. But Matt worked the one day moving rock with Chad, and then the next day (pictured above) moved rock with our graduate school friend, Luke. (Fun tidbit - Luke lived with us for about a year and a half at the end and after grad school - and in the very room that K will have!) Luke was one of our unexpected visitors I wrote about here, and his offer of help turned into a nearly full day of lugging tons (literally, I'm sure) of rock into our stockpile. Nice to have that job done! The hat is so "Luke." ;)

And since I'm sitting here, here's another cute photo of our kids and Chad's kids on the day Chad helped Matt with the rock. I tell you, since there aren't any stairs into (or out of!) the new basement yet, it makes a great large-scale play pen! Here's the regular crew around here sitting on the curb in the new mechanical room that abuts and supports the footing of the west wall of the existing foundation.

Ages 8, 7, 6, (almost) 5, 4, and 2

We have a court date!!!

Woke up this morning to Good News in our email! We have a court date . . . of August 2nd!!

(I'm not sure how that works with a court system that takes a break from July 31 to September 15. My best guess is that someone within the system decides which few cases really need to go through before and can't wait until after the break and decided that ours was one that should go through now.)

On top of this good news, Toni also said that we got a "good" judge. Earlier in the process she described three typical kinds of judges. One is the "easy" kind who are pleasant to work with and work with you to get things through the legal process efficiently. The second is still pleasant to work with, but feels its their responsibility to find something to have you go back and verify or some additional paperwork that needs to be filed. The last is the type who is difficult to work with every step of the way and seems to feel its their job to make life miserable. (Sounds pretty much like any judicial system, right?)

But she said we got a judge of the first variety! So it looks like we will very likely be the proud parents of a nine year old boy by the time we wake up in the morning next week Friday.

And guess who then will very likely come home yet this summer!!!

house update

There's not going to be much to say about the house this week. Our framer is on vacation, so it's quiet around here. Fair enough, since the air is thick with anticipation on the adoption front as we check our email every morning to see if we get our court date and IF ITS BEFORE THE BREAK!!

But today Matt and Chad (who, I think, will have put in almost as many hours as Matt on this house when all is said and done. Well, maybe not, but he's definitely pushing hard for second place so far!) moved a LOT of the limestone from our neighbors wall into tidy piles in our yard waiting for installation for the lower level window well.

That's one pile of stone. There's now another one almost that size in a different location, and the wall's about half way down.

I should write a bit about how this whole thing with our neighbor happened to come about. First, a little local history. Well over 100 years ago, a man immigrated from Germany to a suburb of St Paul, MN. He and his wife had a large family, and as their family grew, so did their farm. He purchased land just over 100 years ago just to the west of his farm, and eventually, two of his sons (William and Walter) purchased that land. In 1937 and 1939, these two sons built cute little white houses on their share of the property as they each were married and moved out of the tool shed. They continued to farm their small plots and take their produce to the St. Paul farmer's market. Both men had four children: a son and three daughters. Walter's son was Matt's dad (Norm). William's son (Ray) stops over often to see the progress on our house. ;) Norm and Ray put in many man-hours one summer of their high school years building a limestone wall for Ray's mom's flower garden. It runs the length of the property, and was in the past (I never saw it at its height) an incredibly beautiful sight. The limestone was salvaged from the river flats where it had been dumped during the construction of the airport (another cool bit of history.)

One of William's daughters eventually bought property next to her dad's house to build her own house. She still lives there. Eventually William and his wife died and their house was sold to our current neighbor. So he's sandwiched between people who have a LONG history on the property he now owns. Anyway, that house is seeing the effects of time, and our neighbor has not been able to find the time to keep up the garden, so he told us this spring that we could salvage whatever plant material we wanted (free landscaping around the addition!) He also at that time told us he was just fine with us using his driveway for access for the construction, which was a beautiful thing because there was no way to get access through our yard without tearing up one of our largest flower beds and possibly disrupting trees. Besides the fact that our driveway is 1) gravel and 2) steeper than our neighbors. This was in itself a surprise answer from God about the logistics of building. Recently, our neighbor also agreed to let us deconstruct the limestone wall in the garden (it's been slowly falling down for years), AND, is also willing to let us dump our excess fill into the gap where the wall was to even out the 3-4' height difference between the lower and upper front yard that was where the wall was. This is a HUGE provision for us. We've been wondering, ever since they first started digging, where in the world (well, where on our lot, since we didn't want to have to pay for trucking it to other places in the world where there is room) we were going to put all that dirt. Well, now we know. And it's actually going to be easier for our excavator to put it in our neighbor's yard than to move it to where we thought we'd try to stow it in our own yard. And that saves another flower garden. ;)

It's been really neat for Matt to be handling these rocks that his dad handled nearly 60 years ago. And we can afford the price of this landscaping rock! God has been so good to us. So many little things like this where not only are our needs supplied, but he goes above and beyond and delights to bring delight to us in the gifts he gives.

Which brings me back around to K. This is the same God who holds the hand and heart of the people who schedule court hearings in K's country.

Don't you think that K would love...

 ... to be here, at home, with his brothers and sisters...

 ...enjoying a popsicle, this summer...

...instead of waiting here until another summer of his life is gone?

the Countdown

No news of a court date this morning when we woke up. That means there are now six more possible business days for K's hearing to happen before the six week break when nothing will happen.

Our in-country person emailed this morning saying she's thinking about calling the courts later this week if she hasn't heard anything. Apparently this isn't standard procedure (when your case has been filed, you just sit and wait until they contact YOU!) but she, too, realizes that this one simple procedure is all that stands between our little boy getting out of his orphanage and home with us soon, or him having to wait likely nearly 3 months from now. That's a big difference when you're only 9 years old.

Six more business days for something amazing to happen...

9 days

I'd heard a rumor the the courts in K's country take a summer break. So I checked it out with our lawyer/agency person in his country and got our reply this morning.

The courts' last day is July 31st, and they do not resume until September 15th.

We also got news in that same email that we got our MOJ signature last Friday, which puts our dossier into the court system, but we have no way of knowing if our case will 1) even get assigned a court date before they go on break or 2) if that date will be before or after the break.

Knowing that it takes ~4 weeks (more or less) after a successful court hearing before we can travel to get K, this means that we could either be able to bring him home sometime in late August or early September (which falls within the typical "4-5 months from first travel" time frame) that we've been planning on, OR, it might not be until mid-late October.

In 9 days we'll know if we're waiting shorter or longer.

My heart aches every day wanting to have our little boy home with his family instead of alone in an orphanage. I don't want him to go one day longer than he has to being unloved and unwanted. But because even the courts in Eastern Europe are under the hand of God, I know K won't come home one day later (or sooner) than he ought to.

Part of me wants to ask all of you to pray that we would get through court before the break. But I can't bring myself to do that, because I know that what *I* think I want is not really what I want if it is not what God wants. And who can know the mind of the Lord - there is so much more happening here than the little part that impacts me. But I can ask that you pray that God would show himself to be merciful to all involved - to the little boy who's waiting without even knowing what he's waiting for, to the "baba" there who loves him and will miss him when he's gone, but who so very much wants him to have a family, and for us, here, that we would be steadfast in our confidence in the God we are following through all of this.

"Once God has spoken;
Twice I have heard this:
That power belongs to God;
And lovingkindness is Yours, O Lord..."
Psalm 62:11-12a

If he is powerful and full of lovingkindness (and I know he is!!!), I know K will come home at just the right time.

photos from Friday

this is what our driveway looked like when we woke up this morning

this is what it looked like 20 minutes later

And this is later in the day. Reuben qualifies for a grant that can be used to purchase things that are approved as beneficial for his development. A concrete apron instead of our gravel will be a safe (and possible) place for him to practice biking/bouncing balls, etc. This will also be nice to have when K comes home, especially if he ends up being wheelchair bound for the long term.

meanwhile, this is going on in the basement - look closely to see the rebar laying on top of the orange radiant heat tubing

My five sweeties watching the "qua-queet" work (as per Rinnah)

Owen down in the hole for a closer look.

And I don't have a completely finished picture, but this one shows the floor in the mechanical room all poured and smoothed out! After a week of curing, we'll be able to backfill! (Though looking at schedule, that likely won't happen for another 2-3 weeks.)

Random tidbits

- There are walls starting to go up around the office (at the landing level between the basement and upper level - the left of the photo). This is cool. ;) Anything you build goes through cycles of feeling bigger and then smaller than you expect, until it's all done and (hopefully!) feels just right. The office is in a "bigger" stage right now.

the office is on the left a half-level down from the main level

- there are also floor joists for the upper level mostly installed, (see photo above)

- Noble Hunter (the cat) thinks he's the construction site supervisor.

- the lower level radiant tubing system needs to hold 60 pounds of pressure for 12 hours to pass inspection. We need to pass inspection before the concrete can get poured. This is the pressure gauge showing 20 pounds of pressure after 6 hours. Matt may have something to post about that. ;) Notice also the bubbles. Nothing like soap and a paintbrush to find air leaks. Think there's some air leaking around that gauge?

And how about this temporary cap (where the system will hook into the larger system once the house is weather tight)?

looks like air bubbles to me!

So a little more pipe tape, and a lot of muscle to get those two weak points screwed on tighter, and then a LOT of pumping (takes a lot of muscle to fill a radiant heat system with 60 pounds of air pressure with a bike pump!) and by 8:40pm Monday we were back up to 60 pounds. And at 9am the next morning, the inspector passed us with 59 pounds and a comment about the temporary fittings for testing always being the weak point

- We're going through a lot of money the past two weeks, and have plans to spend a lot more tomorrow (trusses, siding, roofing) and in the upcoming week or two...or three (framing lumber invoices, framing labor, concrete and excavation work which haven't been invoiced to us yet). We estimate our materials (and the labor we're paying for) plus the adoption will cost about 5 times our typical yearly income. (Now, in all fairness, I have to say that our typical yearly income is quite low (though sufficient) for a family of six going on seven, so it's not as extreme as it sounds, but still...) Just a reminder to all of you out there that you're watching along with us as something impossible is unfolding. ;)

- We would love you to pray with us that our faith would hold steady through this. We have told God all the way along that along with our "yes" comes the understanding that he will supply what we need to live the life he has set before us. But sometimes our frail human hearts and minds can forget that.

- this is what the hourly weather forecast has in store for the early hours of Friday:

- we're supposed to have our concrete guys back here Friday to pour the basement slab. (See weather forecast above)

- today this came in the mail:

I'm guessing this is the closest that Home Depot comes to a gift card that says "trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus..."

- today also happened (ha ha ha!!) to be the day that the couple who are giving us a small monthly amount to cover loose ends for K sent a check for July AND August. Oh, and they offered to come for a weekend to work. We're quickly approaching the kind of work where an extra set of hands (or two) will make things move a LOT quicker.

- do you think maybe God thought we needed some tangible reminders that he has money (and people) he can move around at will? Because $160 isn't going to be the make it or break it amount for an endeavor of this size. But there is something about God moving tangibly that is really good for these physical bodies (of which our heart and mind are part) of ours!

- next week we meet with new clients for our design business - a brand new house. With time being limited as Matt's putting in many hours on the house, the most effective way for us to generate income out of our three small businesses is through the design business which is about twice as productive per hour as the other businesses. We also got a phone call with a lead on another potential larger remodeling, and finalized plans to begin a small project with a past client. Seeing God bring this sort of work to us is another way we see his provision for us at this time.

- we wake up every morning eager to check our email (since by the time we wake up people in Eastern Europe have been awake for hours already), and every morning so far have found...nothing. But every day that goes by is one day closer to the day this boy has his family!

- Достатъчно (enough). Време за спане (time for bed).

Reflections on anxiety

I don't have a complete picture of who is all out there reading this blog, but I know some of you are reading it specifically to know where things are with our family so you know how to pray. This post is for those people and of less interest to other readers. ;)

There is a very simple (though not fully complete) definition of sin in a tiny verse in a chapter at the end of Romans.

"...everything that does not come from faith is sin." Romans 14:23b

That makes the distinction pretty simple on many many things. "Is this [decision/thought/action] coming from faith?" If the answer is no, then it is sin. If the answer is yes, well, the verse does NOT say that everything that does come from faith is not sin, so a "yes" answer doesn't allow us to make a determination either way. 

Matt wrote about some of his thoughts related to the rain storm we had a few nights ago. He used the word "we" a little more broadly than he should have. He may not have been anxious at 2:30am when the thunder woke us, but I was. I was so agitated that it took me a full hour to fall back asleep. Ask Matt. This is not typical for me. ;) I can be asleep before my head hits the pillow!

My anxiety over the possibility of rain in the basement was not stemming from faith. Worry like that can not co-exist with a full conviction that God is good (and good to me) and that God is all-powerful, and that "even the wind and the waves obey him." And I knew it, and I wrestled, and my only consolation about that hour was that I didn't take the hit from worry lying down (well, I was physically, I suppose, but every other part of me was engaged in the battle against the blow that worry was dealing me.)

Fear is always strongest in the dark, and sure enough, by morning, my mind was set back on its proper center, but I was still unsettled by the mental wrestling of the night before. There have been so many BIG things that have come our way this summer (this one and the baby being the most significant) and I have been blown away by how God has provided the grace for me to travel through these with an unwavering conviction of his goodness and all-powerfulness, so to have something like a rain storm (like we haven't had rain before!) throw me like that was a good reminder of how very frail I am.

And it's a place for those of you who pray to be fighting for us!








a post script - after writing what is above and before posting it, I sat down with my Bible, and this is where I happened to be in the Psalms:

My soul waits in silence for God only;
From him is my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken
 ...
My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times [all times - hear that!], O peoplel
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.
...
Once God has spoken;
Twice I have heard this:
      That power belongs to God;
      And lovingkindness is Yours, O Lord,
For you recompense a man according to his work.

Psalm 62:1-2,5-8,11-12 

A rain test

Matt's turn to write again.  The past couple days have been busy.  On the framing side, the main level walls are now up and are partially sheathed and housewrapped.  On the interior, with the help of our friend Chad, the gravel in the basement has been leveled and the vapor barrier has been installed over the gravel and all the seams taped. On top of that the 2" rigid insulation is installed.

rigid insulation, and, apparently, a few children on top of the vapor barrier!

 Two nights ago Owen and I spent the evening chalking lines on top of the insulation to prepare for installing the radiant tubing.  Yesterday Owen and I spent most of the day finishing a few chalk lines and then screwing all the tubing brackets into the insulation along the chalked out lines.  Owen did all the brackets at the start and stop of all the curves and I did all the ones along the straight runs.  Then Owen and I started snapping the tubing into place.  Chad again helped us for a little while Friday afternoon to finish getting the last brackets and tubing installed.  It looks great! and all of the circuits closed themselves just the way they were supposed to.

Just before supper last night, Eric (the structural engineer that I do work for) stopped over to take a look at the addition and go over some drawings for a project we are working on.  Eric has been a huge help on our project.  Before we started the construction drawings, Eric and I had been talking about our upcoming adoption and the desire that Andrea and I had to have room for my Mom to live with us if she wanted to.  When it came time to do the drawings, I asked Eric if he would do the structural work for me on the project and he very generously offered his time to complete the structural work free of charge.  Then again yesterday he offered some more help.  I have never sweated copper before, but I need to in order to get some of the radiant connections made so I can pressure test the system before my inspection on Tuesday morning.  As such, at the end of a recent email to Eric I just off-handedly asked if he knew how to sweat copper.  He said he did and that he would be willing to show me how to do it.  On top of that, he also had an extra pipe cutter that he did not need that he donated to me.

Now that the vapor barrier and insulation are on, I essentially have a large pool for collecting and holding water, as there is no roof on the structure yet.  Typically you would wait to pour the slab until after the roof is on and things are a little more weather tight.  However, with a wood foundation wall system like we are using, it is necessary to pour the slab before backfilling.  Early this morning around 2 AM, Andrea and I both woke to thunder and lightning.  Our bedroom window faces west and overlooks the addition and as we looked out, it was very dark to the south and not so bad to the north.  For one moment, we discussed the option of trying to run out and spread tarps over the major openings to reduce the amount of rain that would fill our pool, but very quickly dismissed that as a futile effort.  For the next 30 minutes or so, we both laid there awake.  Not in a anxious or panicked way, but rather just praying and reflecting on how God controls everything.  I even recall thinking about how intimately God can control the weather in the account of the Exodus for Egypt when there was hail everywhere except in the land of Goshen.  As such, I knew that if God wanted to, it could pour all around the metro and he could keep our land dry.  At the same time, I was also fully aware that he had no reason to do that and that if it rained here that was OK.

Andrea's dad shared with us last weekend a phrase that someone at his church came up with. "If it happens, it is OK."  At first glance this doesn't sit well.  However, it actually makes perfect sense.  In Romans 8, Paul writes "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  As such, I can trust that if I am seeking after Him, loving Him and have been called by Him, everything that happens is for my good.  So it is OK!  It was in that frame of mind that I laid back down on my pillow to fall asleep to the sound of rain pounding on the roof.  A couple minutes later I remembered that my sump pump had been unplugged as we had been using the cord for something else, so I figured I should at least get that plugged in before going back to sleep.  Then I slept until morning without thinking about the rain.

Unfortunately I do not have a good picture of what things looked like this morning, because I had misplaced my camera.  But after 2 inches of rain, the moat around the outside of the house was full of standing water, 2-4 inches above the top of the dirt next to the house, so about 8 to 10 inches above the top of my footings and my draintile.  My initial thought was that we were in trouble and that we were going to be re-doing the draintile if this is what it looked like with the sump pump running all night.  The second thought was that the pump probably was not working because the GFI blew out when the cord got wet.  Sure enough, the other cord that I had been using (that was plugged into the same outlet) was laying in a puddle of water on the sidewalk and the pump had not run at all the whole time it was raining.  I reset the outlet and within about 45 minutes, the water was almost completely gone from the exterior "moat". 

Next I went into the inside of the basement, to see how that had fared.  It was as I had expected.  It was like walking on a dock made out of rigid insulation.  However, I was very pleased to see that in a few locations where water had not run down the inside face of the walls, the inside face of the plywood and the bottom plate on the wall just above the footing (think 8" below the water level on the other side of the wall) was not wet at all.  That was a beautiful sight to see.  By mid-morning, the standing water was all gone and with a few sunny days, we should be ready for concrete when it comes on Thursday or Friday.

God is good...

He is good when he chooses to give unexpected blessings, and he is good when he chooses to take them away.

Matt and I have had the opportunity to live this pretty vividly with Reuben (see the second half of this post) and have been reminded of that again over the last few weeks.

On June 19th, the day after Rinnah's 2nd birthday, and coincidentally the day after she started sleeping in her "big" bed and didn't need her crib anymore, we learned that we were very unexpectedly expecting our sixth child. This took us completely by surprise (we have both hoped that I would be pregnant again at some point, but just weren't expecting it at this point), and I remember trembling for about two hours that morning after finding out. I took that little home pregnancy test out of the garbage can twice to look at it, and sure enough, that second pink line was really truly there! It made sense of all sorts of quirky things from the week or two before. For example, I'm not the kind of person to cry in front of our pastor two days in a row. That's just not like me! And I was tired. And lightheaded. Etc. etc.

After two hours of "I can't believe we're having a baby!" we started to get excited. We decided that instead of taking Rinnah's crib down completely that we would just move it to the little space at the top of the stairs that Owen had just vacated with his move down to the former guest room that he will share with K. The big kids were really excited when they heard the news, and we decided to put a pink sheet on the bed since Owen, who's big into patterns, figured it *had* to be a girl since we've had boy (Owen), girl (Leah), boy (Reuben), girl (Rinnah), boy (K) and now needed a girl!

So many questions - God, this really seems like a ca-razy time to have a baby! We won't even all fit in our van come February 2014 when this baby makes [her]self known!

[Interlude: I noticed at the beginning of the summer that I was stepping back and marveling/staggering at the sheer scope of what God has been asking us to trust him with over this roughly 12 month period. I realized that there was a part of me that felt like once we got through "this" that it would just be smooth sailing from there on out. And it hit me. This year is not all there is. This life of depending fully on a God who is way bigger than we are is simply just life as someone who is living as a follower of this Master. If his business in this world is to show everyone how wonderful he is, he's not going to do that (most likely) by giving us cushy lives where we can just coast along. Where's the greatness in a God who can help you through that? No. His best way to show how awesome he is is by leading us into situations that are beyond human ability to navigate with contentment. There is nothing like realizing you're pregnant to push your frame of reference beyond the 12-month period that you'd been living in!]

So, two lovely weeks of anticipation. Two weeks of realizing that this was an even crazier life than we had expected, and that we were going to get to see God provide for us in even more ways than we'd been thinking (a bigger vehicle for one! as well as the sleep implications of a newborn, and my decreased ability to simply carry K around myself as he puts on weight but is not yet strong enough to do much for himself physically).

And then on July 2nd I started bleeding. I have never miscarried, nor have I ever had any bleeding for any other reason during a pregnancy, so have no reference point for how much bleeding is okay, how much means a miscarriage...I was also at 6.5 weeks, and my quick research on miscarriage revealed that 6 weeks is kind of a turning point for what to expect in a miscarriage - it could go either one way (less) or another (more). But I couldn't believe anything other than that we were losing this tiny person we had so come to love already. Leah and I cried together that night. She was so sad that the baby would not know [her] mother and even more concerned that the baby would not know how much we had loved [her.] I comforted her, telling her that the baby knew - even without being able to see, hear, or feel us. We had a six-year-old level conversation about hormones and how when she would snuggle the baby every night, and bring me water to drink to help that baby that those things made my heart happy, and when my heart is happy, it makes happy chemicals that share with the baby. This little one knew [she] was loved.

The next day we went out of town for a family reunion. I spent the days of the reunion either spotting a tiny bit, or not at all, and on Friday started wondering in a tiny little way if maybe, just maybe, we had not lost this little one. Though I tried hard not to dwell too much on that, but simply to turn to God. "You know, and you are good. Period."

By Monday (the 9th) I was really confused, and emailed our midwife, who said it could go either way and that we should look into it further. So I visited my family doctor who recommended we do blood work Tuesday and Thursday (today) to see where my pregnancy hormone levels were. I spent Tuesday night and Wednesday morning having NO IDEA what to expect. But there was definitely hope - maybe there really is still our tiny one with a little heart beating in there!

Yesterday afternoon my doctor called saying that my levels were low enough (I was at 6, and under 5 is considered not pregnant) that I didn't need to bother coming in Thursday. Our baby is gone.

God gave us a beautiful, unexpected gift. He is SO GOOD!

God chose to take this precious gift away from us. We are sad. But we are not devastated, because He Is Good. And we know that, and it is enough.

The best part of construction

By far, my favorite part of any construction project (and I'm probably not unique in this) is the framing. You go from nothing to *BAM* house! in an afternoon.

I'm on my way to bed, but had to share some photos...

It's not my job.

I'm so glad that I'm not the one in control of my life. There has been more on our plates this summer and even this week than factor directly into this blog, and it is so beyond me and what I can handle that I revel in the fact that my only job in this is to live the life that God lays before me day by day, and I have the distinct pleasure of putting all of the things that hold potential for worry or anxiety into HIS lap so I don't have to deal with them.

I had my blood pressure checked today and came in at 106/68. Granted, good genetics plays a role in that, but there is such blessed freedom in living completely in God's hand.

A week's worth of work on the house

I meant to post before we left to go out of town for the 4th, but didn't, and now we've been back for two days and so it's about time I let you know where things are!

Monday, July 1: A day of unexpected visitors

Leah was again our super-helper-six-year-old, watching the video monitor on Reuben for us so we could get out and get some more waterproofing membrane on.

Thank you to Owen for taking a photo of me and Matt working together!

A friend from our Bible study came over mid-afternoon (around the time the little ones wake up from their nap) to give us some good solid time to work without having to climb in and out of the "hole" and more importantly, have to keep going in to wash the tar off our hands so we could touch small children! A HUGE time saver! Because even though Leah is great, there are some things a six-year-old can't do. ;)

While we were working, Leah called down that someone was knocking at the door. No idea who it was - I climbed out of the hole to find an older man I'd never met before. He introduced himself as a neighbor from a few blocks down from us. He was working on replacing a window well and needed some extra fill since his had settled, and was wondering if we could spare a few pails full. Woo hoo!!! One thing we've been wondering about is where in the world we're going to dump all this dirt without having to pay a whole bunch of money to truck it off. This isn't much, but these are the kinds of things we listen for from God to hear him telling us that he's got it covered.  A relative of Matt's who used to work in the excavation business stopped by and took a look at the excavated soils with Matt to see if they would be suitable for backfilling or if we would need to truck in sandier soils.  He said they looked sandy enough that we can re-use the soil on-site for backfilling.  

that much less dirt to find a home for!

Back down into the hole. ;) A bit later we hear from Leah: There's a blue truck in the driveway! Who else but an old graduate school friend who lived with us for a year or so way back before we had little ones. He stops by our house now and then, and we do by his every year or so. Turns out he's laid off, and not bothering to look for a job for a month or two so he can finish up his own projects (he doubled the size of his tiny house by himself a number of years ago and is still working on parts of it.) He offered to help if there was a day when an extra set of hands would be helpful! Little answer number two for the day. God can bring help from places we don't expect.

Tuesday and Wednesday morning (before we left) all blur together for me. A different friend from our Bible study came over to work with Matt for the afternoon on Tuesday, and between that and Leah covering the nap time so I could work, too, we finished all of the waterproofing, got all of the rigid insulation over the waterproofing, AND got the drain tile put back in for good on the south side of the house. That was a job - first, to muck out all of the mud that settled into that space next to the footing, (which has to be carried out in buckets) then to lay down some fabric to help keep the gravel clear, then the drain tile, then gravel over that (which has to be carried down bucket by bucket), fabric wrapped back over the top, and then dirt knocked down from the side to cover the fabric and keep everything in place. We can't fully backfill until the slab is poured in the basement, but can do just enough to protect the drain tile and fabric.

in-process shot of the drain tile

Owen was a HUGE help with the gravel. He worked HARD Tuesday night keeping the gravel buckets filled so Matt could come up the ladder with empty ones and have full ones ready for him instead of having to fill them himself. This was serious physical labor for both of my boys!

work, boy, work!

a shot from earlier in the day when our friend was over and his son and our two little ones were starting to fill buckets with rocks.

While we were gone at our family reunion, our framers got the main floor joists and subfloor installed, so this is what we came home to:

It's really neat to see it taking shape - you can see the lower level of the landing/entry/office, as well as the opening where the stairs will run - the little joist ends sticking out toward the camera in the upper photo will support the fireplace when we finally are able to put that in (for cost reasons that's something that we'll push out for a while).

And finally up to today, Monday, July 8th.

Our framer was taking the day off as his holiday, so it was just Matt working for most of the day. The task of the day was to get the drain tile on the north side of the house completed. This was more of a challenge than the south side for a few reasons. One is that the space is tighter over there...

...and the other is that the soil on that side of the house is not as well-draining as the soil on the south side, so instead of just knocking down some of the sandier soil from the wall a bit to cover the gravel and fabric, Matt had to carry nicer soil down the ladder bucket by bucket. So, bucket by bucket mucking out, bucket by bucket gravel in, and bucket by bucket sandier soil in. He is tired. Every time I saw him today sweat was shooting out of the top of his head - it was incredible. But he's sitting next to me alive right now, so all is well. ;) I bet he sleeps soundly tonight!

Owen was again a help, though we let him play for much of the day, too, and he spent the time after supper until the work was done filling buckets for Matt.

Owen filling buckets

the sand pile mid-way through the evening

So that gives you some idea where we're at! We're hoping our framer will be able to finish up some smaller scale details in the basement tomorrow so Matt can start working on laying the rigid insulation and then the tubing for the radiant heat. Once that's in and passes inspection, we're ready for concrete down there!