Bedtime

It's hard to believe it's been nearly a week already since I posted last! I've had plenty of thoughts of things to share, but not the time at the computer to do it. But here's a little snippet of last night.

We have a pretty regular bedtime routine with Krassi. Around 7pm we change him, get him into his footies, help him push his sleeves up (yes, little boy, you can have your sleeves up, but you now have someone who is happy to help you get it that last bit over your elbows!) and pick him up, not over my shoulder which is how I will carry him during the day, but cradled in my arms just like one would cradle an infant. We walk around collecting bedtime kisses and then go into his room where I sing "Jesus loves me" to him before laying him in his bed.

Last night was the first time that he let me sing the whole song without trying to push me away at some point, and with a smile on his face. This took me somewhat by surprise because we weren't really seeing a gradual working up to this, but had a regular routine of him smiling for a moment, and then working hard to get away. (I always wonder where he thinks he's going to go - does he want me to drop him on the floor??) So to have him smile the whole time, and not be pushing me away was not what I was expected. But I liked it. :)

Even though he is still not into that during the day, he again at bedtime tonight was able to relax into it a bit as I sang and then laid him down (somehow managing to get my growing belly over the side rail and place my growing boy back against the wall! One of these days that will just have to become Matt's job! But I'm going to keep it as long as I can. ;) Matt has started getting him out for me in the morning. I can lift him just fine, but the in and out of the lower bunk is a more complicated endeavor!)

Another sweet moment last night came from Rinnah (not quite two and a half). Around 9pm I heard her making some noise, so went up to check on her. "Rinnah, do you need something?" "[mournfully] I need you, Mommy." "Well, dear girl, you've got your mommy! There, is that better?" "Yes." "Rinnah, I am so glad that you have a mommy. Did you know that there are little boys and girls who don't have mommies?" "Krassi has a mommy!!" "Yes he does, Rinnah. I'm so glad that Krassi has a mommy."

I think she gets it. ;)

Back downstairs. Five more minutes of figuring on the sewing project I'm trying to complete and I hear little noises from Krassi. Although it goes against all of my previous parenting strategies for helping children form good sleep habits, I try to go right in to Krassi if I hear him at all after he's gone to bed. He'll have time to (re)learn self-soothing strategies. Right now he's got to learn that when he's sad or whatever that mommy and daddy are there. And, in a beautiful moment, he, in his half-asleep state, felt my hand on his back and reached up and grabbed my arm instead of pushing it away.

So many things during the day remind me that he's got a long road to emotional healing, but there are also so many moments where we can already see that having had a month home with his family is starting to make a difference to him.