She has REALLY liked her new short cut. The night before her surgery I set her and Daddy next to each other and took both of them down with the 1/8" trimmer, and over the last month its been growing...and we haven't been sure what to do because it's nice to take a bath or shower after a hair cut like that, and bathing is off-limits until the casts are off.
But a few days ago we came up with an ingenious idea that Owen helped me pull off today. Roll her onto her tummy and hang her off the edge of the bed and arm Owen with the vacuum, and we were off and running.
What wonderful photos -- and I just love the haircut. It looks fantastic on her.
ReplyDeleteThat SMILE!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photos - thank you for sharing.
Still praying,
Lea
You don't have to post this question, but I am curious knowing that your family is christian how you will navigate this with Bobbi. In an old video Bobbi expressed several times that they were not a girl. So I am assuming that Bobbi is expressing that their gender identity may not be what was assigned to them at birth. It seems apparent to me that Bobbi wishes to express their gender identity as other than female and I wonder if you will love and accept that and support that if that is who Bobbi says they are. I would think Bobby knows better than any prayer or book who they are on the inside, even if their body presents differently. If Bobbi wishes to be called son or have their pronouns be he/him or just they/them would you honor and respect that. One of the worst things for a trans child is for the people who love and protect them, to reject who they are saying that they are. If you don't wish to address this topic or reply to my comment, I understand. But I hope you at least consider that you don't understand everything and just like some children are born into bodies that don't work "properly" sometimes they are born into bodies that dont present who they are on the inside.
ReplyDeleteThere are a number of ways I could go with this question. First of all, at a most basic level, I want to say that although there are many serious questions and deep issues that Bobbi deals with that we do not go into on the blog out of respect for her privacy, she is indeed quite settled in her biological identity. The comment from video that I think you’re referring to is her frequent assertion that she’s not a “girly-girl.” No make-up, no fussing over clothes, no squealing over cute boys, no pink, no ruffles, no glitter – that sort of thing. There are some pretty narrow stereotypes in her previous culture about what it means to be a young woman, and she, particularly with her disability, just simply didn’t fit into that. She is very much enjoying living somewhere where she can be her own kind of girl without expectations about having to be what she calls a “girly-girl.” She’s the one who reacts pretty strongly whenever anyone assumes she’s a boy because of her short hair cut! (Do NOT try calling her “sir”!! You’ll get some version of this: “What!!??! Can’t he tell that I’m a girl?? Didn’t he look at my face, my eyes???”) She may like “man-jewelry” and “man-haircuts” but doesn’t show any signs of wanting to be anything but a girl (except at a certain time of the month!) But she’s definitely not a “girly-girl.”
DeleteRelated to those other issues, our love for our kids is unconditional. Nothing they can say or do is going to change the fact that we love each of them deeply. We talk about this often with Bobbi – we chose to love her before we knew her, or knew what she was really like. Because our love for her is based on our choice and not her “performance” she, and our other kids, are learning that they can not change our love for them. This does not mean we will always agree with or approve of all of their choices, but we will never reject them because of their choices. What they do or think is not what determines how much we love them.
Thank you for replying. It is helpful for me reading, going forward knowing that you aren't mis-gendering her in your descriptions of daughter/girl/she/her etc. So I am glad to know that. I won't dig any further for respect of her privacy, but just know things some people assign as "choices" (IE things she may or may not deal with down the line as she gets older and starts dating) are not "choices" they are just what they are and framing and wording are important when you love / accept / "approve of" people. Other than that, thank you so much for sharing your family. I think of everyone often.
DeleteAlso, really excited to see the renovations! I'm such a nerd about home improvement projects and I am amazed that you guys tackle them yourselves (I understand that is your professional bread and butter, but I envy your skills! haha)
Thanks for sharing the photos! I especially like the last one where she is sitting on the steps. She has a beautiful smile!
ReplyDeleteHer hands are my favorite part of that one on the steps! The first one is her favorite - it's the one she chose for the high school year book. I love it, too. She DOES have an incredible smile that activates her whole face, but that one captures something pensive about her that I love.
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