We've got our boy!!

As I type this, Krassi is lying quietly in the cot/pack-n-play behind me in the hotel room. I'm not sure if he's asleep or not, but he's quiet and peaceful. Dondi and I peeked in on him a few minutes ago, and because it's pretty dim, had to look for a while to see if he was awake or asleep. He was very still, but we could see his eyes were open. A few moments later Owen made a passing glance as he walked past to the bathroom, and Dondi and I both think we heard Krassi giggle! He's really connected with Owen in a neat way. But I'll get there in a bit. This post will be illustrated with Dondi's phone photos that she's put up on facebook. I've taken all of four photos so far this trip, and many of hers are on her nicer camera that we're not set up to download here. But there's enough to capture many good parts of our day!

We began the day by waiting. We were ready at 7:25am just as we'd been told, but didn't end up getting picked up for nearly another hour. Toni did call us and let us know that things were running behind, so we didn't worry that we'd been forgotten, but it was rather anticlimactic to hurry hurry to get ready and eat and all that and then...wait.

But eventually we were on the road. Instead of the low 80s and sunny that had been predicted (even the night before!) it was very overcast - thick fog in some areas! - and cool. We used our extra hour of sitting around to run back up to our (seventh floor) room and get Owen's sweatshirt. I was disappointed that Owen and Dondi (and I!) would miss the beautiful views along the drive through the mountains, and simply hoped that the sun would burn off the fog by the return trip. Even more spectacular, as we got higher up, we popped above the clouds and were rewarded by this view. The picture doesn't even come close to capturing how amazing the clouds nestled in the valleys looked when you were really there.

And then, finally, we made it to our destination.

Where again we had to wait. After a (not too long, but feels longer when you're waiting for something like this!) wait, the director was able to come out and we were able to pass off the clothes we'd brought for Krassi, and ask just a few questions. One thing I wanted to know is if Krassi was still seeing the same therapist, and if so, if we could leave something for her. Even better than that, she was there and available to come up to see us! It was so good to thank her in person for the work she's done with Krassi, and the gentle caring way in which he was treated by her. When we were here in March, we noticed that Krassi had a very appropriate scale of responses to the adults in his life - he goes giddy about his baba, and scaled back by varying degrees down to the staff who don't give him the time of day and he reciprocates. ;) Matt and I both thought that his PT was probably right up there on Krassi's list just behind his baba. Just last week I'd been thinking about her, and decided I wanted to thank her especially for the care she has given our son. It has meant so much to us to know that over the SIX months that we were gone that there were people in his life who treated him kindly. She seemed surprisingly touched by the gift. I'm glad I thought of her. And I'm even more grateful to her after spending the rest of the day with Krassi and seeing the things that he is trying and is capable of physically that he simply wasn't six months ago. She may have limited resources, but she is doing incredible work with what she has.

And then, finally, I got to see my son. My tiny little oldest son, carried to us in the arms of the baba who has loved him and worked a place into his heart for the last three and a half years. Exactly nine years and seven days ago, this boy was officially signed over to the Pleven orphanage at not quite four months of age. He had lived all of those four months, except for hospitalization for the first two weeks, in the preemie wing of Pleven where his birth mother visited him. But for nine years and seven days he has belonged to no one.

He has been our boy in our hearts for nearly a year, legally for over two months, and now finally physically ours, too. The only thing missing is to get home so our whole family is together for the first time. Here I am, holding my oldest son in my arms.

 He was nervous - what a morning for him! Nothing normal. Everything that he's ever known is changing, and he doesn't even necessarily realize yet that it is for good. He will never, never be back in the life that is all he's ever known. I can't even imagine what that must be like to have everything you know taken away. I've had moments in my life that are pivotal moments when forever after life is measure by "before" or "after", but even in those, so many things have remained stable. But this boy is losing everything he has ever known, and gaining so much more than he can yet imagine. And that's scary!

Little boy going through these doors for the very last time.

Still doing kind of okay...because I hadn't put him in the evil car seat yet!

The drive was tough on him. He cried, and cried loudly and heartbreakingly for nearly the first half hour. Part of it was that he didn't like being all strapped in, but he was also very much mourning, fearful, and letting it come out. I didn't know my son was capable of making so much noise! (Maybe he'll fit in just fine in that regard after all, Matt!) And I remember thinking that I should have taken the advice of a friend who adopted an infant domestically and brought not just one pair of ear plugs for the plane ride home, but 100 to pass out to all the other passengers on the plane! [In reading through this myself two months later I realize I should clarify that my friend did not actually DO this, but jestingly suggested that I should!]

Oh! Just realized that I forgot to mention that, much to my delight, he still had his "Cherno Meche" ("little black bear") that my mom had picked out for him and we had left with his baba in March. She faithfully brought it for him every time she visited him, and according to her own report when someone from our agency visited the orphanage mid-summer, she'd even had to wash it twice! When we got him today, it was in a plastic bag in the bag of things I'd left, with a very worn out front left leg. In fact, the leg was so worn out (he chews it - for a surprisingly non-oral boy, he's put in a fair amount of time on that little bear!) that two of the plastic pellets fell out on his leg. Thankfully I have not yet completed his Christmas stocking, so had it along for the plane and car ride, so had a needle and thread on hand to make a quick repair.

We stopped along the way at a little restaurant for lunch. Krassi had already eaten, but we were all hungry. I was a little apprehensive about taking Krassi into a restaurant because of how shaky the car ride had been so far - he had just recently calmed down quite well. What a delightful surprise to have him be very content to sit on my lap while we ate. The best moment came as I was talking with him about how he was here with his mommy and his brother Owen and immediately he reached out his hand to touch Owen, and then looked right at him. I think he knew who I meant when I said, "Owen"!!

We got back to Sofia and went straight to the medical clinic for his exam and TB bloodwork.

Except since we arrived after 2pm, they couldn't do the bloodwork anymore that day. (Blood has to be tested within 8 hours of the draw, and lab staff leave at 2pm.) So back and forth and back and forth. The doctor there wanted us to do the skin test, and if that came back positive do a chest x-ray. She stated that since Krassi was vaccinated against TB as an infant and was now nine years old that the odds of the vaccine triggering a false positive were next to none. I tried to explain my concerns about the accuracy of the x-ray, as a follow-up, particularly because a blood test at that point would put a delay in our trip. We are scheduled for our interview at the Embassy on Thursday afternoon, and he has to be clear of TB before that can happen. So, the plan as it stands is that he will go back to the clinic tomorrow morning for the blood test, and we will get the results Thursday morning just in time for our Thursday afternoon interview. Phew. It would greatly simplify things if we get a negative result on that!!

Then, we finally got to go back to our hotel, and not make poor dude spend any more time in the nasty car seat. Here's Mama with her oldest son after a diaper change (hooray for very wet diapers! I'm happy to rinse out his pants (and mine) to know that at least at the moment, there is ample fluid in that boy! I was more into this time than he was, but he was willing to tolerate me. ;)

Then came feeding time. We started with what we thought would be our best chance for success - the jar of peach baby food that the orphanage had sent with us. We opened it up, put a tiny bit on a spoon, and got rejected. At Dondi's advice (by the way, I'm so glad Dondi's here! Not only is it really nice to talk with another mom who is intimately knowledgeable about life with special needs, but she has a lot of experience with her own teenage son born prematurely and now living with CP!) we made a more strategic attempt to get some past his teeth and to his tongue, and from then on, he happily ate the rest of the jar. Success! Which was nice, because we had no success with pediasure (on a spoon, since that's how he gets his liquids at the hotel) or plain water, or a tiny bit of blueberry muffin. So we called it quits and figured we'd try again later. We did, but the chicken and carrot combo just didn't go over as well as the peaches. Hmm. ;) So tomorrow we'll give a few other things a try just to scope out if we have any other options, but I figure worst case, in the interest of surviving this week and making it home, we can just buy a bunch more peach baby food. I may try mixing a bit of water into the next batch just to see if I can increase his fluid intake that way. So that's the feeding plan as it stands tonight. He had another lovely wet diaper when we got back to the room after our supper and started getting ready for bed.

This boy LOVES his bigger/younger brother Owen. I have photos on my camera that are not downloaded yet (too dark to see what I'm doing) that show him smiling - when Owen laughs, especially big belly laughs (Dondi can generate these quite effectively by tickling) Krassi breaks out into a huge smile. He had his hand all over Owen's face and was just glued to him whenever he laughed. So we spent a delightful before bed time all laying on the big bed together laughing. Putting Krassi to bed was a non-issue. I sang for him, as Matt and I do for all of the younger children, and laid him down. It took him a while to fall asleep (quite the day to process!) but he was peaceful the whole time, and now is completely asleep.

I ought to be, too. ;)

Krassimir with one of his younger brothers.